Toothpaste

             I was running out of toothpaste.  All I needed to do was remember to go to the store and buy some.  I keep my toothpaste in this… little bucket thing, in the cabinet underneath the bathroom sink.  This little bucket isn’t big enough to hold every little toiletry item so I try to keep the necessary items in this bucket.  The items that don’t fit or the items I don’t use very often are placed right next to the bucket.  The whole situation is a little sloppy for me.  The bucket just isn’t working out for me.  I keep my hair sprits stuff in the bucket, my big clunky electric razor, and my toothbrush, actually two toothbrushes. 

            Why do I have two toothbrushes?  I have no idea.  Oh wait, I remember why, the last time I needed a toothbrush I was looking for deals on toothbrushes in Stop and Shop.  The deal I found was two toothbrushes for the price of one.  Of course I had to buy them.  The only problem was that toothbrushes came in the same package.  Once I opened one, they both came out.  Now, I guess I could have pulled out just one and left the other in the package and all would have been well but no.  I didn’t like having the package.  It was clunky and awkward so I tossed it.  I decided I would use both toothbrushes, using a different one each night.  Well, that isn’t working out either because, you see, this whole bucket thing. 

            I have the hair sprits stuff, two toothbrushes, my clunky razor, the toothpaste, and this long flossy thing… I recently started flossing.  Yes, I recently started flossing, as in previously hadn’t flossed before the age of 24.  It is because of this flossy thing that I started to floss.  It’s long and pink, bad choice of color but I got it from the dentist.  The dental hygienist, every time I go there, would say, “Your teeth look great… but you need to floss.”  I’m just not big into flossing.  Sticking your hands in your mouth, looking in the mirror, trying to get the floss in between two teeth, ugh forget it!  Well, when they gave me the flossy thing, everything just clicked.  It’s long; it’s pink and it has an interchangeable floss head.  This thing is spectacular.  I floss with ease and I floss every night before bed.  I love it. 

            Anyway, in my little bucket: the hair sprits stuff, the razor, two toothbrushes, floss thing, toothpaste, some other floss that I will never use and should probably through away, ohh and a comb for the rare occasions I actually comb my hair.  Now with all of these items in the bucket, well, the items just don’t sit nicely in the bucket.  I’ve tried taking out some items and putting them in the section next to the bucket but then there is too much space in the bucket.  The razor falls on the toothbrushes knocking them over in the bucket, the floss thing goes down, the comb falls and pretty soon it all lies on the bottom of the bucket, ewww gross!  I have to come up with a better situation. 

            Now, all of the stuff that doesn’t go in the bucket is placed, like I mentioned before, right next to the bucket.  The items include: my medicine for when I go to the dentist, which I always forget to take.  I forget so much that they now have to call me and remind before I go to my appointment.  The medicine is for my mitral valve prolapse, a leaky valve in my heart.  I have to take these pills so I don’t get an infection or something like that.  I’m not really too sure.  All I know is the dental hygienist is very adamant about me taking these pills 3 hours before coming to my appointment. 

            Some other items next to the bucket include this ointment for when I got this weird infection on my face.  It was so ugly I grew my beard out to cover it.  It worked out well, it blended right in with my beard.  I also got another infection like a week later only this time it was up my nose.  How gross is that? 

            I also keep the charger for my razor next to the bucket, extra contact solution, over the counter acid reducer for when I eat to much, I never take it anyway, Pepto-Bismol also for when I eat to much, I don’t take that either, and pre-electric shaving lotion, also never used.  I guess I could get rid of some items in the bathroom cabinet. 

            Anyway, I went to use my toothpaste last night and thought once again that I needed to remember to pick some up.  I reached into the bucket which was a mess of course, rummaged around for a toothbrush and the toothpaste, managed to grab a toothbrush but dropped the toothpaste into the section of items right next to the bucket.  Everything went toppling over and I sighed an annoying sigh.  I reached down grabbed the toothpaste smeared it on my toothbrush, something didn’t look right, put it on my mouth, and got a couple of quick brushes before I realized I forgot to mention the hemorrhoidal ointment.