I stood there staring at the dark brown knob on the nightstand. It was perfect height. Eye level. I just wanted to chew on it. The knob was set against the black painted background of the rest of the nightstand. It said, “Eat me!” I knew it was wrong but I was compelled to do it. Driven. Forced, even. The temptation, overpowering. I looked toward the doorway of the bedroom. I saw and heard nothing. I walked toward the doorway. I peeked down the hall. Again, I saw and heard nothing. My owners were clearly in the living room and I hoped they weren't going to check on me. I walked back over the knob on the nightstand. I stared at it again. It called to me coolly, “Eat meeee, eatttt, meeeee!” I knew I should not do it. I knew that I should not eat the dark brown knob on the nightstand. But it looked so good. I looked back at the bedroom door. No sounds or signs of motion. I looked back at the knob. I stuck my tongue out and leaned in toward the knob. I took a lick, a quick one. Yeah, it was good! I turned my head toward the door again. Nothing. I took a step closer toward the knob. I opened my mouth, I leaned forward and the knob was now in my mouth. Ohh sweet passion! The forbidden fruit! I moved my jaw gently up and down just to nibble at the knob. It was perfect! It felt so perfect between my teeth.
“Chuck!”
I snapped out of my trance. Ohh crap! I turned my head to the doorway. One of my owners was standing there with her hands on her hips, a huge frown, and eyes of displeasure. Ohh crap! I was in trouble. I twisted around, put my head down, and walked swiftly over to my bed, did a circle, and laid down. I played it off real cool.
“Chuck, what are you doing in here?” My owner stepped closer.
Who me? Nothing.
“Chuck,” she pointed a finger at me. “You are not supposed to chew the nightstand.”
I didn’t do it! It was the cat! Yeah, the cat made me do it! No, wait, the knob. It was the knob. It was asking to be eaten!
“Chuck,” she grabbed my bone that lay next to my bed. She placed the bone in front of me. “You can chew on this.” I took the bone and casually chewed on it. “Good boy!” She patted me on the head and walked away.
Ohh, yeah! I played that off real good. I stopped chewing my bone immediately after she turned the corner into the hallway. Bones, boring! I got back up and walked over to the nightstand. The knob stared at me begging to be chewed. I leaned forward; I stuck out my tongue and gave it a quick lick!
“Chuck!”
Ahh crap!
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