A little babble about nothing

Where am I going? What am I doing? Am I going in the right direction?

I thought that upon finishing my master’s thesis that my world would open up and I would be free to think about whatever it is that I wanted to think about. But…that’s not the case. I’ll be the first to admit that the blogs that I haven’t in the past few months have been thrown together at the last minute. Why bother? Why not let it go for a couple weeks? Well, if no one reads it or a hundred people read it, I do it for me. I made a commitment to myself to blog once a week…period. During times of upcoming stress I prepared blogs in advance and even had them automatically posted for me. The blog was to force me to… slow… down… A few years ago my entire day was filled with creative thoughts and ideas… not so much any more. I’m afraid I’m losing my touch. My mind is now flooded with science. Practically every waking moment for the past six months I was thinking and obsessing over my master’s thesis and now… its over. Done. What am I thinking about now; the publication that I will be writing on the same topic as my thesis. When I’m not thinking about that; the AP Environmental course that I am developing for next year. When I’m not thinking about that; the house projects that I want to complete. The last thing I typically think about is what I’m going to write. It usually hits me like a ton of bricks on Saturday night. I suddenly realize that I haven’t thought a moment all week long about what I wanted to write about. Instead I thought about what I needed? to write.

I’ve gone so far down one path that I have forgotten all about a path that I used to love. Finding my way back is going to be difficult as it is and I feel like I’m going to be traveling down this path a little longer. Is it possible to travel down two paths at the same time? Perhaps instead of continuing further down the same path day after day, I should instead, at least every once in awhile, choose the other path that has become overgrown and lost amongst the weeds. Only time will tell what I end up doing but I hope that which ever ever way I choose, I somehow find my way back home.