Where Were You Last Night

“Where were you last night?” asked Billy.
I hesitated but replied, “Oh, I stayed home.”
“I tried to call your house last night,” he said.
“Well, I was kinda tired.”
“That’s not what your Mom said.”
I immediately cut him off, “Look! What are you getting at?” I said.
He just mumbled, “Never mind.”

We continued to walk down Broad Street. I mean I couldn’t tell him where I was. He wouldn’t understand. I did feel bad though. I sort of left him hanging last night at the movies. We were supposed to double date with our very cute girlfriends. I think he was just disappointed that I didn’t show up again. This was the fifth time this month that I ditched him. I knew he was sick of it but in a way he was getting used to it. I really did feel bad. I’m normally not like this. He just wouldn’t understand. Usually best friends can tell each other anything but this was different. I am absolutely positively sure he would not understand.

We reached the ice cream shop and when he opened the door I said, “I’m really sorry about all this.” Billy had no response.

We walked into the ice cream shop. Jessica and Amber were sitting in the far corner. These are the girls. Yes, the girls Billy and I had been after for the longest time. As soon as we laid eyes on these two sisters, we fell in love. They were twins but not identical. I really liked Jessica and Billy loved Amber so it all worked out. Best friends always compromise. We finally got dates with them two weeks ago. Amazingly enough we ended up becoming couples. We sat down with them. Billy leaned over and kissed Amber on the cheek. As soon as I sat down Jessica gave me the look. We all know what the look is. I knew she was mad. She asked, “Where were you last night?”

I said I was really sorry and leaned in to kiss her. It wasn’t good enough. She pulled away and I knew I was in trouble. I was sure that Billy was not going to help me out this time. I was in a bad jam now. All I needed was time to think of an excuse. Jessica pulled me close, looked deep into my eyes and said, “You know that I like you. Why aren’t you being honest with me? I’m honest with you.”

Oh no, I thought. There they were those puppy dog eyes. How can I lie to those clear blue eyes? So right then and there I decided to tell them. Those clear blue eyes can do wonders.

“Okay,” I said, “Here it goes. I’ll tell you where I was last night.” I hesitated for a moment then I spoke. “Last night I was…I was…I was at the Westbrook Retirement Home painting my Grandmother’s toe nails Tickle Me Pink and singing the I Love You Barney song. Are you happy now?”