Bree

On many occasions over the past few years we all told her, “It’s okay. You can go now.” Two days later she would be looking at us with a smile on her face asking for a jelly donut. Her will was much stronger than her body and that is because of family and friends.

My Mom told my grandmother, “Call me when you get there.” I think my Mom was a little relieved when she didn’t get this call. I mean can you imagine the cost of a collect call from heaven. Bree did send a message. The message was not through the phone or sent in a letter. The message was sent in words…and I speak these words to you now.

You need not worry
For I am safe now
Where I am
There is no pain
There is only peace and love
Go now and enjoy your life
I will see you
When your time has come

Bree gave us many gifts. She gave us three years devoted to bringing our family closer again. She has taught us how important family is and how everything else in this world just doesn’t mean as much to us anymore. Most importantly she has left us with…Grace. I have learned so much from her and I will never be the same. Thank you, Bree. Thank you for everything you have taught me. I love you so very much.

Mystery Meat

They are all made of meat. Some are short and fat and some are long and skinny. Occasionally, you can find the most popular kind which is long and fat but they are quite rare. When heated they expand. Some people like them a light pinkish tan color while others like them black. Anyway you choose, hotdogs are all made of the same stuff.

A Million Thoughts

A million thoughts role through my head so many thoughts that I can’t even pinpoint one thought. Just as soon as I think one thought my mind races toward another. I feel various emotions run through my body. I feel the urge to cry but what for. But why should I need a reason. There’s more, there is more, there is more to this world and we all know it. I feel like I’m spinning in circles. I feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions. I must find the light. I must find the peace within me. Oh God, what do I do? Show me the path and I will follow. But…I realize there is no path. I must blaze the path but in what direction? Direction means nothing where I want to go. Such inconceivable thoughts, where is the guidance? Acceptance, acceptance of what is real and what is not. My body is merely carrying my soul. How can I use my body to develop my soul? That is the important question. Simplify, the word rings through my brain a thousand times, simplify. I want to experience what most people fail to experience in a life time. I want to live a hundred men’s lives in a day. I feel held back, bogged down by the demands of society. I must separate society from what is true. Follow the path inside myself. Shut society out, shut out society but that is not an option. I need to learn to follow the true path while living immersed in a society. I want to explore the depths of imagination. Use my mind for the impossible, to its fullest extent. Open my soul let it pour out. Let my soul carry my body instead or my body carrying it.

I say to myself, let your soul carry your body.

There is a Better Life

There is a better life
xxxxxIn which you seek
Although it will take work
xxxxxHow to travel
You are unsure

If you never look
xxxxxYou will be forever lost
There are unexpected forks
xxxxxYou will find
Some may extend your trip
xxxxxSome might bring you closer

There is a destination
xxxxxThat you seek
Not one exists

Return from N. Z.

I was alone for the first time in a month. I had been traveling in a campervan with Holly in New Zealand. This was the first night home after getting off the plane. She went to her condo and I to my house. It was after 1:00 A.M. and I was still awake unable to shake this eerie feeling. I was alone for the first time in a month. Traveling in a campervan in New Zealand, Holly and I had no choice but to be with each other twenty-four hours a day. One would think that two people living this way would get sick of each other rather quickly but not Holly and me. Shockingly, we had become accustomed to living this way, maybe because we knew it was only temporary.

Now, there I was alone for the first time in what felt like a year. My brother, whom I live with, works nights and therefore wasn’t home. I was alone in the largest space I’ve occupied in a month. My house was extremely spacious compared to the campervan. In fact, my bedroom itself was much larger than the campervan. I laid in bed listening to the silence of the house. Thinking that I would hear something, my attention perked, but it was absolutely nothing, at least I hoped. There was this ominous hum of insects outside and the occasional passing of a car to break the silence. There was this insistent orange glow from the street light to break the darkness. God I hated that light. It shinned directly into my bedroom window and would force my eyes open if I didn’t shut the shades. And I hated shutting the shades because of how dark it got. I couldn’t wait for the sun to come up. I wondered if Holly felt the same way.

My house smelled of laundry detergent.

January Photo - River Bend

River Bend

January Photo - Eiffel Tower

Eiffel Tower

January Photo - Twisted

Twisted