Hello, my name is T. Roy and I am addicted to home repairs. I started doing home repairs about a year ago. It was my fiancée, now wife, which got me started. We bought a house and a first I wanted nothing to do with home repairs. My wife became pushy. Do this home repair; do that home repair. I didn’t know a lot about home repairs at first. It was her father that showed me the way. Her father and I installed new ceiling drywall, refinished floors, and moved a wall. My head was spinning and I felt sick to my stomach. They both pushed me to do more even though I knew I was in over my head. I couldn’t handle the fast pace of home repair life and I told my wife. Many an argument ensued. Against my best efforts, the home repairs continued. Sanding, painting, and ceiling fans, my health spiraled downward.
Finally, when it was all over, I was mad and sick of all the home repairs that I had done. Then something against all my imagination happened. I missed the home repairs. I didn’t know what to do without the home repairs. I started secretively working on home repairs behind my wife’s back. I sanded and painted the walls and replaced the fixtures in the bathroom. I was spending an exorbitant amount of money. I kept going. I went on to bigger and better home repairs. I built an entire shed by myself. A year earlier I could barely hang a shelf. I was using a nail gun and a table saw like they were kitchen utensils.
It wasn’t until I was finished with the shed before I realized I had a problem. I couldn’t stop building. Now, that I realize that I have an addiction, I need to find something else to do with my time and money. I owe my home repair dealer, Home Depot, a lot of money. It’s going to take me a lot of time before I can pay them off. I’d say the hardest part for me about a home repair addiction is Saturday morning. I used to get up early and work on a project, sometimes two or three, that I had going on. By five o’clock I would collapse from exhaustion. I think back to the good time before home repairs. I would go for a hike, kayak, or go for a run. I have to make these things my top priority now. It’s going to be an adjustment but I’m looking forward to living my life again.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Backside
Being a teacher I hear a lot of excuses for not completing homework. Students often forget to turn the paper over to see that the assignment is continued on the other side of the paper. When checking homework, I approach each student and ask to see their homework. Commonly, I then turn the paper over to see an unfinished assignment.
Shock rolls over the students face, “There’s a back side!?”
I respond with, “Yep.”
“I didn’t realize there was a back side.”
My response is always, “Every piece of paper has a back side. It just matters if it has words on it.”
Then the student gets half credit for the assignment.
Shock rolls over the students face, “There’s a back side!?”
I respond with, “Yep.”
“I didn’t realize there was a back side.”
My response is always, “Every piece of paper has a back side. It just matters if it has words on it.”
Then the student gets half credit for the assignment.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Symbol Lost, Love Not
It didn’t take my fiancé and I more than 20 minutes to choose the wedding rings we would wear for the rest of our lives. It also didn’t take me more than four months to lose the symbolic promise of our marriage.
On July, 10, 2010, I pledged my promise to Holly and we sealed our marriage with the exchange of rings and of course a kiss. Less than four months later while at a Halloween party on October 30th, I happened to glance at my finger and suddenly realized the ring to symbolize my love for my wife was missing. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. A million thoughts ran through my head…When did I last have the ring? How long has the ring been missing? How could I have not realized it was missing? Where could it be? And the most important question, how am I going to tell my wife?
The sick feeling in my stomach began to build rapidly. I knew my wife would understand but I also didn’t want to disappoint her. I quickly found her in mid-conversion with someone. I immediately interrupted them and quietly told her what I had just realized. She said exactly what I needed to hear. “We’ll find it. And even though the ring is lost it doesn’t change our love for each other. Nothing will ever change that.”
We carried on the rest of the evening as best we could. We couldn’t help but think of the many places that it could have been. I had gone to my parent’s house, Holly’s parents and I even went to her brother-in-laws house. The scariest thought of all was that we had spent a good portion of the day clearing leaves from our yard and put them into a trailer that was four feet wide, eight feet long and two feet deep. We had completely filled the trailer. Could it be amidst the thousands upon thousands of fallen leaves? I dared not to think of it.
My wife and I woke up the next day and made a few phone calls to our family members to see if we could track down the ring. Holly’s brother-in-law said he had seen me wearing the ring; Holly’s mom searched her house only to find nothing and my parents were on the hunt. After an hour or two of waddling we decided it was time to go through the trailer leaf by leaf to see if we could find the ring.
I flipped open the top to the trailer. All of yesterday’s hours of hard work had to be undone in hopes of finding the ring. It was the last thing either of us wanted to do on a Sunday, but it was the last ditch effort before coming to grips that the ring was truly lost and gone forever. As we took handfuls of leaves out of the trailer we kept our eyes open for a shiny glimmering object in the pile of brown, yellow and red colors. I kept thinking, “What am I going to do if we don’t find it?” The ring wasn’t some new t-shirt with a stain on it that could have been easily replaced. It symbolized our love and was engraved with “H & T 7-10-10.” The thought of the ring being gone forever made my head spin.
My wife and I knew that we could spend hours taking the leaves out of the trailer to not discover the ring, but we had to give it a try. Holly started taking leaves out from the rear of the trailer, but soon she moved to the front end of the trailer. She said something urged her to move to the front of the trailer. We carefully filled a barrel of leaves and then dumped it on the ground. The wind whipped and began to spread color all over our green lawn once again. We continued to fill the barrel until it was full a second time. Our spirits were low. I said, “You know, this could be one of those situations where we spend days looking for it only to give up and then by chance find it years later.”
Just as I finished saying that I turned and looked into the trailer and let out a big gasp. I quickly reached into the trailer and yelled, “I found it!” I was in shock. I didn’t think we’d be able to find this one tiny object among the mounds and mounds of leaves. Not only could I not believe that we had found it but I also couldn’t believe that we only went through two barrels of leaves to find it. The sense of relief rushed over me. I felt like all was well again with the world. I told Holly to hold on to the ring because I didn’t trust myself to even hold it let alone put it back on my finger. Soon the ring will be resized and all will be well. A tremendous weight has been lifted.
On July, 10, 2010, I pledged my promise to Holly and we sealed our marriage with the exchange of rings and of course a kiss. Less than four months later while at a Halloween party on October 30th, I happened to glance at my finger and suddenly realized the ring to symbolize my love for my wife was missing. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. A million thoughts ran through my head…When did I last have the ring? How long has the ring been missing? How could I have not realized it was missing? Where could it be? And the most important question, how am I going to tell my wife?
The sick feeling in my stomach began to build rapidly. I knew my wife would understand but I also didn’t want to disappoint her. I quickly found her in mid-conversion with someone. I immediately interrupted them and quietly told her what I had just realized. She said exactly what I needed to hear. “We’ll find it. And even though the ring is lost it doesn’t change our love for each other. Nothing will ever change that.”
We carried on the rest of the evening as best we could. We couldn’t help but think of the many places that it could have been. I had gone to my parent’s house, Holly’s parents and I even went to her brother-in-laws house. The scariest thought of all was that we had spent a good portion of the day clearing leaves from our yard and put them into a trailer that was four feet wide, eight feet long and two feet deep. We had completely filled the trailer. Could it be amidst the thousands upon thousands of fallen leaves? I dared not to think of it.
My wife and I woke up the next day and made a few phone calls to our family members to see if we could track down the ring. Holly’s brother-in-law said he had seen me wearing the ring; Holly’s mom searched her house only to find nothing and my parents were on the hunt. After an hour or two of waddling we decided it was time to go through the trailer leaf by leaf to see if we could find the ring.
I flipped open the top to the trailer. All of yesterday’s hours of hard work had to be undone in hopes of finding the ring. It was the last thing either of us wanted to do on a Sunday, but it was the last ditch effort before coming to grips that the ring was truly lost and gone forever. As we took handfuls of leaves out of the trailer we kept our eyes open for a shiny glimmering object in the pile of brown, yellow and red colors. I kept thinking, “What am I going to do if we don’t find it?” The ring wasn’t some new t-shirt with a stain on it that could have been easily replaced. It symbolized our love and was engraved with “H & T 7-10-10.” The thought of the ring being gone forever made my head spin.
My wife and I knew that we could spend hours taking the leaves out of the trailer to not discover the ring, but we had to give it a try. Holly started taking leaves out from the rear of the trailer, but soon she moved to the front end of the trailer. She said something urged her to move to the front of the trailer. We carefully filled a barrel of leaves and then dumped it on the ground. The wind whipped and began to spread color all over our green lawn once again. We continued to fill the barrel until it was full a second time. Our spirits were low. I said, “You know, this could be one of those situations where we spend days looking for it only to give up and then by chance find it years later.”
Just as I finished saying that I turned and looked into the trailer and let out a big gasp. I quickly reached into the trailer and yelled, “I found it!” I was in shock. I didn’t think we’d be able to find this one tiny object among the mounds and mounds of leaves. Not only could I not believe that we had found it but I also couldn’t believe that we only went through two barrels of leaves to find it. The sense of relief rushed over me. I felt like all was well again with the world. I told Holly to hold on to the ring because I didn’t trust myself to even hold it let alone put it back on my finger. Soon the ring will be resized and all will be well. A tremendous weight has been lifted.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Derailing Trains
I stood there steadfast and true on the railroad tracks of life. We met face to face two trains about to collide. She could have mowed, plowed or ran me over but I didn’t care. It didn’t matter, I had nothing to lose. I stood there with determination. Her train was barreling through life. She was never prepared for what lay ahead. When we meet this time she derailed instantly. She had no idea how to pick up the pieces let alone put them together. At that point I realized I was no longer a mere mortal. I had stopped a train. I felt alive for the first time in my life.
“Do you hate me?” She staggered and stammered through the conversation.
I had been grinning since our eyes meet, “No.”
She made excuses for her actions, things that should have been left unsaid. The excuses didn’t matter to me, the past didn’t matter. I hoped for a better future but her body language told me there was someone else. Her conversation stumbled. She couldn’t look at me for very long before looking away. I stood there relaxed yet poised, ever smiling. She knew how I felt and I could now know how she felt. I hadn’t known before this moment. It had previously been left unfinished. I needed closure. I needed to know for sure that there was nothing else I could do. I had made it very clear how I felt.
“I’m surprised you’re here.”
“I wanted to come.”
She directed the conversation. I felt no responsibility in that. I was holding out my heart and she knew that. The words that I spoke meant nothing. I was speaking a different language. I was hoping that she would respond in kind but didn’t.
“Who are you here with?”
“Some friends,” I described their relationships to me. Who I was with didn’t matter. Would she join us later that evening? That is what I wanted to know.
“Are you going to be here for awhile?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll stop by your table in a little while.”
The ball was in her court and it was her choice if she wanted to hit it back. I was proud of myself as I turned and walked away. The stone had been scribed. The connection that was there the last time we meet wasn’t there. She struggled to make the connection and fell short. My bridge had crossed the river and she failed to even swim half way. She was scrambling to try and cross the bridge but the road blocks had been already put into place. Before she knew it the river had gotten wider and the bridge that I had built no longer reached the other side. Her bridge was destroyed before it was ever created. She looked across the river wondering if she had made a mistake. The thought quickly passed. On with her life she went and never thought twice.
“Do you hate me?” She staggered and stammered through the conversation.
I had been grinning since our eyes meet, “No.”
She made excuses for her actions, things that should have been left unsaid. The excuses didn’t matter to me, the past didn’t matter. I hoped for a better future but her body language told me there was someone else. Her conversation stumbled. She couldn’t look at me for very long before looking away. I stood there relaxed yet poised, ever smiling. She knew how I felt and I could now know how she felt. I hadn’t known before this moment. It had previously been left unfinished. I needed closure. I needed to know for sure that there was nothing else I could do. I had made it very clear how I felt.
“I’m surprised you’re here.”
“I wanted to come.”
She directed the conversation. I felt no responsibility in that. I was holding out my heart and she knew that. The words that I spoke meant nothing. I was speaking a different language. I was hoping that she would respond in kind but didn’t.
“Who are you here with?”
“Some friends,” I described their relationships to me. Who I was with didn’t matter. Would she join us later that evening? That is what I wanted to know.
“Are you going to be here for awhile?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll stop by your table in a little while.”
The ball was in her court and it was her choice if she wanted to hit it back. I was proud of myself as I turned and walked away. The stone had been scribed. The connection that was there the last time we meet wasn’t there. She struggled to make the connection and fell short. My bridge had crossed the river and she failed to even swim half way. She was scrambling to try and cross the bridge but the road blocks had been already put into place. Before she knew it the river had gotten wider and the bridge that I had built no longer reached the other side. Her bridge was destroyed before it was ever created. She looked across the river wondering if she had made a mistake. The thought quickly passed. On with her life she went and never thought twice.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Election Day
Voting for a politician is like choosing between two devils, you are just not quite sure which is slightly less evil.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
The Toothpaste Theory
Ahhh, a brand new tube of toothpaste. There is so much toothpaste in the tube, plenty of toothpaste to go around. You apply a generous application of toothpaste to your toothbrush without a care in the world. For months you enjoy generous helpings of toothpaste but after some time goes by, the amount of toothpaste in the tube begins to dwindle. The tube becomes harder and harder to squeeze. Your toothbrush gets less and less toothpaste each time you brush. Then the day comes when you squeeze so hard that your fingers hurt just to get a dribble smear onto the toothbrush before your throw the tube away.
Fossil fuels are a tube of toothpaste. At first large quantities of oil were found but as time goes by we are finding less and less oil. Pretty soon we’ll be squeezing the end of the tube hoping to get just a little bit more before the tube is empty. The fossil fuel tube is going to hurt more than just our fingers. It’s time for us to start thinking about switching to a different brand of toothpaste, one with a much larger tube.
Fossil fuels are a tube of toothpaste. At first large quantities of oil were found but as time goes by we are finding less and less oil. Pretty soon we’ll be squeezing the end of the tube hoping to get just a little bit more before the tube is empty. The fossil fuel tube is going to hurt more than just our fingers. It’s time for us to start thinking about switching to a different brand of toothpaste, one with a much larger tube.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Being a Teacher
Being a teacher is like being a waiter at a restaurant where the customers keep coming back for forty-five minutes every week day even though they hate the food and the service. Finally, after about nine months of complaining they stop coming to the restaurant. After a couple of months the customers come back to the restaurant and they get a new waiter. In the meantime, the original waiter gets a whole new set of customers who also hate the food and the service and the entire process continues on for many years.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Anthony the Ant Becomes Human (except 2)
Anthony and the other ants marched their way back to the pantry. Anthony couldn’t help but have an eerie feeling. He didn’t realize until now how dangerous it was stealing from the humans. When Anthony got to the pantry he became extremely nervous. He felt like at any moment the door would fly open and he would be the next to be squashed.
The box that they had been taking food from was gone. The recon team had tapped into another box and the ants started taking food from there.
There was also this black disk structure with a dome over it. Anthony saw a couple of ants go inside and when they came out they whispered, “Hey. There’s food in here.”
One of the members of the recon team came down from his post to check the quality of the food. Before the recon team member got there a few more ants went inside the dome. When the recon member saw that the ants had chunks of blue material his eyes got wide.
“Drop the food,” he said firmly. The ants that had gone inside looked at each other in amazement. The recon member went on, “Drop the food. Do it now. It’s poison!”
The ants quickly dropped the blue substance and they all got extremely scared.
“Oh my gosh,” one ant said.
“What’s going to happen,” another ant questioned.
“Are we going to die,” one ant said as he began to panic.
The recon member motioned to the rest of the recon team to come down. In the mean time he pointed at the rest of the ants. “You ants, outta here,” and he pointed to the crack in the wall.
Anthony and the other ants left and waited on the other side of the wall. One recon member came and guarded the entrance so no other ants could get in or out. Anthony wondered what was going on inside the pantry. Were those ants going to die? After a few minutes of waiting the recon guard told the ants what was going on.
“Alright everyone, listen up. The ants were taken to a quarantined area. It will be a little while before we know their prognosis. The area is now safe to return to. Be advised: Stay far away from black domes and blue food. It typically means poison.”
The ants were allowed back in but tensions were high. This was two days in a row with casualties and injuries. Anthony was truly getting terrified now.
The box that they had been taking food from was gone. The recon team had tapped into another box and the ants started taking food from there.
There was also this black disk structure with a dome over it. Anthony saw a couple of ants go inside and when they came out they whispered, “Hey. There’s food in here.”
One of the members of the recon team came down from his post to check the quality of the food. Before the recon team member got there a few more ants went inside the dome. When the recon member saw that the ants had chunks of blue material his eyes got wide.
“Drop the food,” he said firmly. The ants that had gone inside looked at each other in amazement. The recon member went on, “Drop the food. Do it now. It’s poison!”
The ants quickly dropped the blue substance and they all got extremely scared.
“Oh my gosh,” one ant said.
“What’s going to happen,” another ant questioned.
“Are we going to die,” one ant said as he began to panic.
The recon member motioned to the rest of the recon team to come down. In the mean time he pointed at the rest of the ants. “You ants, outta here,” and he pointed to the crack in the wall.
Anthony and the other ants left and waited on the other side of the wall. One recon member came and guarded the entrance so no other ants could get in or out. Anthony wondered what was going on inside the pantry. Were those ants going to die? After a few minutes of waiting the recon guard told the ants what was going on.
“Alright everyone, listen up. The ants were taken to a quarantined area. It will be a little while before we know their prognosis. The area is now safe to return to. Be advised: Stay far away from black domes and blue food. It typically means poison.”
The ants were allowed back in but tensions were high. This was two days in a row with casualties and injuries. Anthony was truly getting terrified now.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Jose and Amanda's Wedding
Jose and Amanda were married on June 20th and by June 21st they were already in the process of getting a divorce. Jose was caught with a half naked waitress in a janitor’s closet at the wedding reception before the sun even went down. Amanda had always thought that Jose’s flirting with other women was harmless. Come to find out it wasn’t and Jose was marring her simply because he thought with her he could get away with the infidelity. Apparently in previous relationships he wasn’t that good at being discrete.
Needless to say Amanda was a bit naive. Jose’s late nights with the guys really weren’t with the guys. Jose was with a variety of women while he was with Amanda. There was Rebecca who was a nurse for his grandmother when she was on her death bed. Cindy was a woman he meet while servicing her internet. Jose is a technician for Comcast. Bethany was Jose’s massage therapist. Emily was a bartender just a half mile from where Jose and Amanda lived.
Jose had a fearless attitude toward cheating. He really felt no guilt at all. To him it was a challenge. He thrived off of it. The day after the wedding Amanda, her family and close friends were throwing everything of Jose’s out into the street from the second floor apartment that was once theirs. Jose stood out on the street next to his 2004 Honda Accord. Jose had a zero expression on his face as his stuff flew down from the balcony. Jose would casually pick up the various personal items that had been strewn about the lawn. He was careful to look out for things coming from the balcony so he wouldn’t get hit. At one point while placing his items in the trunk of his car, his fifty inch plasma television flew out and smashed onto the ground. There was a small flinch and slight ‘oh’ face when it hit the ground. That was about the only tidbit of regret he felt.
Amanda came out to the balcony every once in awhile to scream, “Asshole,” or “Bastard!” Jose never responded.
After an hour or so the personal items stopped coming and Jose felt it was about time to be on his way. There was a woman he met at the supermarket when she was buying prime rib for her husband birthday. April and Jose had plans to meet later that evening.
The worst part of all this wasn’t Jose’s infidelity; it was that Jose was killing probably hundreds of people by this point. You see, Jose was HIV positive. He had contracted the virus about a year and a half ago. He had slept with dozens of women since then and those women had slept with other people afterwards. It was a horrible vicious domino effect that was bound to go on for some time before anyone would find out. If only Jose knew what how much physical and emotional pain he would be causing to all those people. If he knew he would definitely stop these horrible acts and finally show emotion for the pain and suffering that he caused. The shear magnitude he would never realize, only fathom. If only he would realize before it gets any worse.
Needless to say Amanda was a bit naive. Jose’s late nights with the guys really weren’t with the guys. Jose was with a variety of women while he was with Amanda. There was Rebecca who was a nurse for his grandmother when she was on her death bed. Cindy was a woman he meet while servicing her internet. Jose is a technician for Comcast. Bethany was Jose’s massage therapist. Emily was a bartender just a half mile from where Jose and Amanda lived.
Jose had a fearless attitude toward cheating. He really felt no guilt at all. To him it was a challenge. He thrived off of it. The day after the wedding Amanda, her family and close friends were throwing everything of Jose’s out into the street from the second floor apartment that was once theirs. Jose stood out on the street next to his 2004 Honda Accord. Jose had a zero expression on his face as his stuff flew down from the balcony. Jose would casually pick up the various personal items that had been strewn about the lawn. He was careful to look out for things coming from the balcony so he wouldn’t get hit. At one point while placing his items in the trunk of his car, his fifty inch plasma television flew out and smashed onto the ground. There was a small flinch and slight ‘oh’ face when it hit the ground. That was about the only tidbit of regret he felt.
Amanda came out to the balcony every once in awhile to scream, “Asshole,” or “Bastard!” Jose never responded.
After an hour or so the personal items stopped coming and Jose felt it was about time to be on his way. There was a woman he met at the supermarket when she was buying prime rib for her husband birthday. April and Jose had plans to meet later that evening.
The worst part of all this wasn’t Jose’s infidelity; it was that Jose was killing probably hundreds of people by this point. You see, Jose was HIV positive. He had contracted the virus about a year and a half ago. He had slept with dozens of women since then and those women had slept with other people afterwards. It was a horrible vicious domino effect that was bound to go on for some time before anyone would find out. If only Jose knew what how much physical and emotional pain he would be causing to all those people. If he knew he would definitely stop these horrible acts and finally show emotion for the pain and suffering that he caused. The shear magnitude he would never realize, only fathom. If only he would realize before it gets any worse.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Derek's Lincoln Logs
The first thing everyone notices about Derek is his large smile, a smile so big that it makes his eyes squint. There is a gap in his front baby teeth that remind you of every 1st grader who ever lost a front tooth. Nothing makes Derek happier than building with his Lincoln Logs. Watching him build a house out of the logs with his prize winning smile, as it stretches from ear to ear would cause anyone to smile.
He carefully stacks the logs on top of one another slowly creating a house with windows, doors, a garage, and a roof. He even goes as far as putting matchbox cars inside the garage and trees in the yard. Derek will dump out the entire Lincoln Logs container just to find the right size log for his masterpiece. Derek is definitely short for his age which can plainly be seen when he stands up next to the large cylinder container in which the Lincoln logs came from. The container is half his height. His brown hair is so perfectly combed to one side resembling the classic little boy haircut with ears jutting out to each side. He wears a Yankees Derek Jeter shirt with grey shorts and dirty red Crocs that look like they have walked several thousand miles. Each Croc has 3 Jibbitz representing a race car, school bus and of course the Yankees emblem.
Derek’s uniqueness shines through his glistening big brown eyes. What Derek lacks in size he makes up in heart. He can give you a hug that only a 6 foot man could give. Whenever I see him no matter what he is doing or where he is, he will freeze and race up to me and give me this overpowering bear hug. That’s right; he’ll even stop building with his logs for a few moments just to give me a hug. He is such a kind, gentle and mature soul at just the young age of six.
He carefully stacks the logs on top of one another slowly creating a house with windows, doors, a garage, and a roof. He even goes as far as putting matchbox cars inside the garage and trees in the yard. Derek will dump out the entire Lincoln Logs container just to find the right size log for his masterpiece. Derek is definitely short for his age which can plainly be seen when he stands up next to the large cylinder container in which the Lincoln logs came from. The container is half his height. His brown hair is so perfectly combed to one side resembling the classic little boy haircut with ears jutting out to each side. He wears a Yankees Derek Jeter shirt with grey shorts and dirty red Crocs that look like they have walked several thousand miles. Each Croc has 3 Jibbitz representing a race car, school bus and of course the Yankees emblem.
Derek’s uniqueness shines through his glistening big brown eyes. What Derek lacks in size he makes up in heart. He can give you a hug that only a 6 foot man could give. Whenever I see him no matter what he is doing or where he is, he will freeze and race up to me and give me this overpowering bear hug. That’s right; he’ll even stop building with his logs for a few moments just to give me a hug. He is such a kind, gentle and mature soul at just the young age of six.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Adult Trap
You know you’re an adult when you ask for a wheel barrel for your birthday and for Christmas, a six foot ladder. I can remember the days of buying a 12 pack and being perfectly content on a Saturday. Now, I’m going to the store to buy an extension cord so I can trim the hedges. I recall the days of going out to the bar at 10 P.M. and getting to be bed sometime after 2 A.M. Now, I am in bed by 10 P.M. and up at 6 A.M. ready to mow the lawn and organize the basement. To top it all off I’m not even 30.
I see adolescents wishing they could at least be a little older than they are – but not quite as old as I am. And by golly gee, if I could somehow convince them to stop, to take every moment in and not have responsibilities, I would. But I guess it is just that natural tendency for adolescents to push to get older, push for freedom. But I’ll tell you I have never been freer than when I was a kid.
We get tricked into adulthood. Somewhere along our way from adolescence we go from wanting an electric guitar to adulthood when we now somehow want a snow blower. And we hope that this snow blower will make our lives easier but somehow the damn thing always breaks and makes more work for us.
And even though this sudden realization that adult life has arrived can be a little bit of a downer, it is still calming to know that I am thankful for all the years that I have lived and enjoyed. And even though the dizzying blurred whirlwind of my twenties is rapidly dwindling, I have learned now more than ever to pause whenever possible to soak up the wonderful experiences throughout my life and hold them for times when the maddening adulthood side of life like the work week takes hold. I keep in the back of my mind that life is a mixture of joy and pain. We can even go as far as saying that life can’t have joy without pain. And if that’s the case, bring on the pain. I will grin and bear it until the tables turn to bliss.
Life is a journey. Each step is uncharted territory and I am going to enjoy each step as it comes.
I see adolescents wishing they could at least be a little older than they are – but not quite as old as I am. And by golly gee, if I could somehow convince them to stop, to take every moment in and not have responsibilities, I would. But I guess it is just that natural tendency for adolescents to push to get older, push for freedom. But I’ll tell you I have never been freer than when I was a kid.
We get tricked into adulthood. Somewhere along our way from adolescence we go from wanting an electric guitar to adulthood when we now somehow want a snow blower. And we hope that this snow blower will make our lives easier but somehow the damn thing always breaks and makes more work for us.
And even though this sudden realization that adult life has arrived can be a little bit of a downer, it is still calming to know that I am thankful for all the years that I have lived and enjoyed. And even though the dizzying blurred whirlwind of my twenties is rapidly dwindling, I have learned now more than ever to pause whenever possible to soak up the wonderful experiences throughout my life and hold them for times when the maddening adulthood side of life like the work week takes hold. I keep in the back of my mind that life is a mixture of joy and pain. We can even go as far as saying that life can’t have joy without pain. And if that’s the case, bring on the pain. I will grin and bear it until the tables turn to bliss.
Life is a journey. Each step is uncharted territory and I am going to enjoy each step as it comes.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Eliot (Ellie) the Russian Tortoise gets Parasites
(Written from my wife's point of view)
You would think that it would be easy having a Russian tortoise as a pet. Sure it has been easy for my husband and I over the past six years that we have had our tortoise. Our tortoise, Eliot is confined to a large Rubbermaid container, approximately four feet long, two feet wide, and two feet tall, with four inches of dirt and wood chips. The container is right in front of a window, providing some natural light and ultra-violet radiation. The container rests on top of a stand that my husband made.
We have a 100 watt heat lamp which also provides the ultra-violet radiation that Eliot needs to stay health and strong. We also have a small 15 watt bulb on the other side of the container to provide a little extra light but also provide a cool area to escape the heat.
Eliot has a home which consists of a hollowed out log that is cut in half. I know that sounds complicated to make but it was easy to buy at the store. There is also a food dish and a water dish inside the Rubbermaid container. The water dish isn’t really for drinking, it’s more for soaking. Tortoises obtain the water they need by absorbing it through their skin and in the food they eat. Their diets are simple, broad leaf plants like romaine lettuce and dandelion greens. Occasionally, we sprinkle a little multi-vitamin dust on the food to insure Eliot gets the necessary vitamins.
Every once in awhile, we take Eliot into the backyard where we let him get some exercise by wondering around. We have to be careful that he doesn’t eat the grass because our lawn has fertilizers on it which can harm him. Of course, he is a tortoise and he doesn’t move very fast so my husband always has to make the same lame joke, “We have a Russian tortoise… but he’s not rushin’ anywhere.” The joke is usually accompanied by a big smile a hand jester which consists of a fist swinging across the front of his body. Most people respond by laughing but it’s at his own expense. He still thinks people are laughing at the joke.
This past summer my husband brought Eliot to the vet where he found out two things about Eliot; that Eliot was not a he but a she and that Eliot, now Ellie, has parasites. My husband was more distraught over the fact that his little buddy, his little boy, was now a girl! You would have thought that my husband was the one with the gender confusion. I can recall him calling one his friends and telling the story about how his tortoise is now a girl, and oh, by the way, now has parasites.
Solving the problem of the gender confusion was easy for Ellie. I’m sure she didn’t know the difference. Solving the parasite problem on the other hand took some persuading. Ellie had to receive three shots of medicine orally. Luckily, the first shot was given at the vet, which my husband said took three people, a spatula, and ten minutes to get into Ellie’s mouth.
The second shot was given a week later. My husband and I made an attempt that lasted about an hour before we gave up. My husband then drove forty-five minutes to the vet where it took them, once again, ten minutes to give Ellie the medicine and upon completion he then had to drive forty-five more minutes back home.
A week later my husband was so absolutely determined not to drive an hour and a half for the vet to spend ten minutes giving Ellie the medicine. After an hour of us holding her shell, keeping her legs back, keeping her head from scrunching back into her shell, and wedging a spatula in her tiny mouth, we were able to squirt the tiny bit of medicine in her mouth. Who ever thought that a tiny animal six inches in diameter could be so darn strong and stubborn? Maybe we need to cut back on the ultra-violet radiation.
You would think that it would be easy having a Russian tortoise as a pet. Sure it has been easy for my husband and I over the past six years that we have had our tortoise. Our tortoise, Eliot is confined to a large Rubbermaid container, approximately four feet long, two feet wide, and two feet tall, with four inches of dirt and wood chips. The container is right in front of a window, providing some natural light and ultra-violet radiation. The container rests on top of a stand that my husband made.
We have a 100 watt heat lamp which also provides the ultra-violet radiation that Eliot needs to stay health and strong. We also have a small 15 watt bulb on the other side of the container to provide a little extra light but also provide a cool area to escape the heat.
Eliot has a home which consists of a hollowed out log that is cut in half. I know that sounds complicated to make but it was easy to buy at the store. There is also a food dish and a water dish inside the Rubbermaid container. The water dish isn’t really for drinking, it’s more for soaking. Tortoises obtain the water they need by absorbing it through their skin and in the food they eat. Their diets are simple, broad leaf plants like romaine lettuce and dandelion greens. Occasionally, we sprinkle a little multi-vitamin dust on the food to insure Eliot gets the necessary vitamins.
Every once in awhile, we take Eliot into the backyard where we let him get some exercise by wondering around. We have to be careful that he doesn’t eat the grass because our lawn has fertilizers on it which can harm him. Of course, he is a tortoise and he doesn’t move very fast so my husband always has to make the same lame joke, “We have a Russian tortoise… but he’s not rushin’ anywhere.” The joke is usually accompanied by a big smile a hand jester which consists of a fist swinging across the front of his body. Most people respond by laughing but it’s at his own expense. He still thinks people are laughing at the joke.
This past summer my husband brought Eliot to the vet where he found out two things about Eliot; that Eliot was not a he but a she and that Eliot, now Ellie, has parasites. My husband was more distraught over the fact that his little buddy, his little boy, was now a girl! You would have thought that my husband was the one with the gender confusion. I can recall him calling one his friends and telling the story about how his tortoise is now a girl, and oh, by the way, now has parasites.
Solving the problem of the gender confusion was easy for Ellie. I’m sure she didn’t know the difference. Solving the parasite problem on the other hand took some persuading. Ellie had to receive three shots of medicine orally. Luckily, the first shot was given at the vet, which my husband said took three people, a spatula, and ten minutes to get into Ellie’s mouth.
The second shot was given a week later. My husband and I made an attempt that lasted about an hour before we gave up. My husband then drove forty-five minutes to the vet where it took them, once again, ten minutes to give Ellie the medicine and upon completion he then had to drive forty-five more minutes back home.
A week later my husband was so absolutely determined not to drive an hour and a half for the vet to spend ten minutes giving Ellie the medicine. After an hour of us holding her shell, keeping her legs back, keeping her head from scrunching back into her shell, and wedging a spatula in her tiny mouth, we were able to squirt the tiny bit of medicine in her mouth. Who ever thought that a tiny animal six inches in diameter could be so darn strong and stubborn? Maybe we need to cut back on the ultra-violet radiation.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Ashes
Tail is wagging
Mouth is grinning
Collar is red
Hair is whiter
............Many black spots
Hips are thinning
Trouble walking
Trouble sitting
Can’t get comfy
............She is fourteen
Heart is racing
Breath is heavy
Can't fall asleep
Bones protruding
............She’s not eating
Nose is wetter
Eyes are cloudy
Time is coming
Sooner than late
............Tears fill my eyes
Mouth is grinning
Collar is red
Hair is whiter
............Many black spots
Hips are thinning
Trouble walking
Trouble sitting
Can’t get comfy
............She is fourteen
Heart is racing
Breath is heavy
Can't fall asleep
Bones protruding
............She’s not eating
Nose is wetter
Eyes are cloudy
Time is coming
Sooner than late
............Tears fill my eyes
Ashes - Part 2
The call came in
The time had come
Emergency
We’ll wait for you
............Lump in my throat
Tail still wagging
Mouth still grinning
Trouble breathing
Carry her in
............Spirit alive
Tail stops wagging
She is nervous
Wants to get out
She won’t sit down
............Can’t get comfy
Pink injection
She fell asleep
Burst out crying
No more Ashes
............We will miss her
The time had come
Emergency
We’ll wait for you
............Lump in my throat
Tail still wagging
Mouth still grinning
Trouble breathing
Carry her in
............Spirit alive
Tail stops wagging
She is nervous
Wants to get out
She won’t sit down
............Can’t get comfy
Pink injection
She fell asleep
Burst out crying
No more Ashes
............We will miss her
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
