Photo Phinish
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Anthony the Ant Becomes Human (except 3)
“Come here children. I want to show you something,” Kathryn said.
They all followed her to the top of the ant hill. Ants were hustling past them in and out of the opening. The children were mesmerized by the speed of the other ants.
Kathryn began to speak, “Each and every one of these ants has a job to do for the colony. There are forgers, soldiers, caretakers, diggers, and cleaners. Without any one job our colony could not exist. Each and every one of you will have a job and it’s your responsibility to do your job well for the sake of the colony.”
Butch said, “What will our jobs be?”
She replied, “That is up for the magistrate to decide.”
There were whispers among the children about what their jobs would be. Butch wanted to be a soldier and Zeke wanted to be a forger. Becca and Kelsey wanted to be in the nursery.
Kathryn said, “Now, there are a few more things you need to learn before you get jobs. I want everyone to look far out across the grass. What do you see?”
Becca spoke softly, “It’s another ant hill.”
Zeke butted in abruptly, “Sweet! Let’s go!”
Kathryn stopped him, “Hold on there Zeke. That is one place we should never go. That is a rival colony of over one million ants. If anyone from our colony goes there they will be attacked and killed. Our colony would be in jeopardy of collapse because they could then follow the scent back here and try to take over our ant hill.”
“Why would they want to do that?” Kelsey asked.
Kathryn continued, “Well, that is a colony of many queens. Our queen was once one of them before she escaped with her Serv-Ants.”
“Why did she leave?” asked Anthony.
“She was the fifth queen and wasn’t taken seriously. She was given less Serv-Ants, a small nesting area and fewer food rations. She protested many times but the other queens wouldn’t adhere to her requests. So late one evening she had her Serv-Ants carry the eggs she had just laid and they flew to this location just out of sight and scent range from her old colony.
“They flew here?” Kelsey questioned.
“Yes. Queens and Serv-Ants have wings at first but once they land they shed their wings. You’ll be able to recognize Serv-Ants by their distinct stubs on their bodies from the wings. Only male ants with wings can become the queen’s Serv-Ant.”
All the children looked over at Butch. No one had really noticed before but Butch had something unusual about him.
“Butch, you have wings!” Anthony exclaimed.
Flabbergasted and shocked Butch responded, “What? ... I do?” He tried to turn his head but couldn’t quite see. He tried to spin around but his whole body spun with his head. He ended up spinning in circle before realizing he wouldn’t be able to see them. All the children were laughing at the sight of Butch spinning in circles.
“Butch, you’ve got to feel your wings,” Kathryn said.
A little flutter came from the wings on Butch’s back. “Wow! I can’t believe it. I’ve got wings. Whaowho!” He began to jump around.
“Careful Butch, if you use your wings they will fall off,” Kathryn said.
“What?” Butch was surprised.
“Wings can only be used once.”
Butch seemed disappointed, “Really? Why? When should I use them?”
“The time will come when you will know when to use them. Just know that your job will be very important. You must protect the queen at all costs. Only Serv-Ants ever see the queen. She remains deep inside the colony in a guarded chamber. No one ever goes in and no one ever comes out except for Serv-Ants.” The children were speechless. Kathryn pointed to the other colony. “They would do anything to get revenge for her disloyalty.”
They all followed her to the top of the ant hill. Ants were hustling past them in and out of the opening. The children were mesmerized by the speed of the other ants.
Kathryn began to speak, “Each and every one of these ants has a job to do for the colony. There are forgers, soldiers, caretakers, diggers, and cleaners. Without any one job our colony could not exist. Each and every one of you will have a job and it’s your responsibility to do your job well for the sake of the colony.”
Butch said, “What will our jobs be?”
She replied, “That is up for the magistrate to decide.”
There were whispers among the children about what their jobs would be. Butch wanted to be a soldier and Zeke wanted to be a forger. Becca and Kelsey wanted to be in the nursery.
Kathryn said, “Now, there are a few more things you need to learn before you get jobs. I want everyone to look far out across the grass. What do you see?”
Becca spoke softly, “It’s another ant hill.”
Zeke butted in abruptly, “Sweet! Let’s go!”
Kathryn stopped him, “Hold on there Zeke. That is one place we should never go. That is a rival colony of over one million ants. If anyone from our colony goes there they will be attacked and killed. Our colony would be in jeopardy of collapse because they could then follow the scent back here and try to take over our ant hill.”
“Why would they want to do that?” Kelsey asked.
Kathryn continued, “Well, that is a colony of many queens. Our queen was once one of them before she escaped with her Serv-Ants.”
“Why did she leave?” asked Anthony.
“She was the fifth queen and wasn’t taken seriously. She was given less Serv-Ants, a small nesting area and fewer food rations. She protested many times but the other queens wouldn’t adhere to her requests. So late one evening she had her Serv-Ants carry the eggs she had just laid and they flew to this location just out of sight and scent range from her old colony.
“They flew here?” Kelsey questioned.
“Yes. Queens and Serv-Ants have wings at first but once they land they shed their wings. You’ll be able to recognize Serv-Ants by their distinct stubs on their bodies from the wings. Only male ants with wings can become the queen’s Serv-Ant.”
All the children looked over at Butch. No one had really noticed before but Butch had something unusual about him.
“Butch, you have wings!” Anthony exclaimed.
Flabbergasted and shocked Butch responded, “What? ... I do?” He tried to turn his head but couldn’t quite see. He tried to spin around but his whole body spun with his head. He ended up spinning in circle before realizing he wouldn’t be able to see them. All the children were laughing at the sight of Butch spinning in circles.
“Butch, you’ve got to feel your wings,” Kathryn said.
A little flutter came from the wings on Butch’s back. “Wow! I can’t believe it. I’ve got wings. Whaowho!” He began to jump around.
“Careful Butch, if you use your wings they will fall off,” Kathryn said.
“What?” Butch was surprised.
“Wings can only be used once.”
Butch seemed disappointed, “Really? Why? When should I use them?”
“The time will come when you will know when to use them. Just know that your job will be very important. You must protect the queen at all costs. Only Serv-Ants ever see the queen. She remains deep inside the colony in a guarded chamber. No one ever goes in and no one ever comes out except for Serv-Ants.” The children were speechless. Kathryn pointed to the other colony. “They would do anything to get revenge for her disloyalty.”
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Bill Gates, The Almighty
Why is that when you're in the middle of a huge project and you're pressed for time, the document you're working on is forced to close? Do you think Bill Gates creates these occurences and does it on purpose just to have control over us?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Solving the Hiccup Epidemic – One hiccup at a time
Tilt your head way back and look toward the ceiling or sky. Place your fingertips at the top of your neck. Run your fingertips down your neck excruciatingly slow (for 10-15 seconds). During this process you body may jolt as if a hiccup up were coming. If needed, repeat the process again. Congratulations, you no longer have hiccups. You’re Welcome.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Solving the Hiccup Epidemic
I despise hiccups. So much so that I become increasing angrier the longer they stick around. That is why I developed a fool proof plan for getting rid of them. Now sure we all have our tricks; drinking water upside down, holding our breath, having someone scare us but these tricks may work sometimes and not others. The trick that I came up with works now and always will. This isn’t one of those tricks that work once and then never works again, no; my fool proof plan works every time. Here is what you have to do.
Tune in next week to find out how to solve your hiccups.
Tune in next week to find out how to solve your hiccups.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Acting Profession
Imagine an actor writes a screenplay, casts himself in the show, obtains all props necessary for the show, performs the show five times in one day, critics each performance, and then repeats the entire process the following day with a new show. The audience, however, is actually forced to be there for the entire theatre season and a large majority of them wish that they didn’t have to attend. The audience is required to provide a summary of each performance upon which the actor now critics to insure that the audience members fully understand each performance. Sound like a profession you know? It’s teaching.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Courtroom Teachers
An attorney only working within the courtroom is like a teacher only working within the classroom. Attorneys get paid for everything they do for a client outside the courtroom. Do teachers?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Rehabilitating Students
Teaching a student who doesn’t want to learn is like trying to rehabilitate an alcoholic who refuses to stop drinking.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Trip to the Moon
I sat perched on my black cushion, legs crossed. My wife, Holly, sat next to me on her own cushion. A few other people sat with us on their own cushions. All of our cushions lay on a hardwood floor. We sat in silent meditation.
Pierce asked us to think about traveling to the moon together. Once at the moon we realize that our transportation back to Earth doesn’t exist. Pierce asked, “What will you miss?” and he left us to ponder for a few moments.
The first thought that came to mind was nothing. I made the quick assumption that since Holly was sitting next to me that she too would be trapped on the moon with me.
I was satisfied with my answer but I continued to think about being trapped. I thought about my parents and brother. I simply wanted to tell them that I loved them and I wanted them to take good care of my fish and tortoise.
After thinking for a few more minutes I came up with one material possession that I would miss, my laptop computer. The only reason why I missed it was because of all of the stories and ideas I had ingrained into the hard drive. In my mind I asked my parents to try and get my works published. I didn’t miss anything else. What would it matter if I had material processions back on earth, I was never going to make it back there anyway.
After we all pondered for awhile, Pierce added to our visualization that now we had figured out a way to get back home. He asked the question, “How do you feel about planet earth now?”
I thought about how I should live my life like it’s my last day on earth. I shouldn’t be afraid to take risks. I shouldn’t have any regrets and I was reminded that a friend of mine once said, “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” when asked about having any regrets.
It felt wonderful to be reminded again about what is important in life and how to live life in the moment.
Pierce asked us to think about traveling to the moon together. Once at the moon we realize that our transportation back to Earth doesn’t exist. Pierce asked, “What will you miss?” and he left us to ponder for a few moments.
The first thought that came to mind was nothing. I made the quick assumption that since Holly was sitting next to me that she too would be trapped on the moon with me.
I was satisfied with my answer but I continued to think about being trapped. I thought about my parents and brother. I simply wanted to tell them that I loved them and I wanted them to take good care of my fish and tortoise.
After thinking for a few more minutes I came up with one material possession that I would miss, my laptop computer. The only reason why I missed it was because of all of the stories and ideas I had ingrained into the hard drive. In my mind I asked my parents to try and get my works published. I didn’t miss anything else. What would it matter if I had material processions back on earth, I was never going to make it back there anyway.
After we all pondered for awhile, Pierce added to our visualization that now we had figured out a way to get back home. He asked the question, “How do you feel about planet earth now?”
I thought about how I should live my life like it’s my last day on earth. I shouldn’t be afraid to take risks. I shouldn’t have any regrets and I was reminded that a friend of mine once said, “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” when asked about having any regrets.
It felt wonderful to be reminded again about what is important in life and how to live life in the moment.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Salted Love
How many of us have ever liked someone? I mean really liked someone. I think it is pretty safe to say that most of us have liked someone at some point in our lives. Well, this story is about two teenagers who really like each other and their names are Sodium and Chlorine. For those of you who haven’t heard these names before Sodium is a boy and Chlorine is a girl. Sodium and Chlorine are in high school and they’re both on the swim team. Sodium and Chlorine are both extremely passionate about swimming. The two of them are constantly at the pool working on improving their skills. The two of them are so dedicated that both have become key members of swim team. Sodium is the star freestyle swimmer and Chlorine is the star diver.
Sodium and Chlorine really like each other but… well like any relationship there obstacles to overcome. Think about it, was there ever a little something about a person that you liked that bothered you? Maybe the person has a weird laugh or they never let you finish a sentence. I’m sure that’s true for most of us. You see, Sodium has this little, tiny problem with Chlorine. Now think about it, where is Chlorine used? We all know that chlorine is commonly used in swimming pools. Well, anytime Chlorine gets to close to anyone she tends to kill them with her poisonous gas…a minor problem for Sodium. Needless to say Sodium is a little nervous about getting too close to Chlorine.
Chlorine on the other hand, is a little nervous about Sodium. What do we know about Sodium? Sodium is a metal that reacts violently with water, so anytime he gets into the pool he burns everything around him. Let’s just say whenever he’s competing against someone from another team, he always burns the competition. Well the two of them decide that they really, really like each other so much that they are going to try and put aside their differences.
Of course no relationship comes without its share of ups and downs. Typically after practice Sodium would walk Chlorine home. They walked hand in hand all the way to Chlorine’s house. Walking home, Sodium was so choked up he could barely breath. Only after Chlorine entered her house would Sodium suddenly feel better. Sodium thought it was because he really liked her. He didn’t realize that he was getting choked up because of her poisonous gases.
Then came the day of their first kiss, which was unlike any other first kiss. One day after walking Chlorine to her house, despite being choked up, Sodium leaned in for a kiss. The moisture on Chlorine’s lips caused Sodium to react and Chlorine felt a sharp burning sensation on her lips. Chlorine slapped him and stormed off.
The next day at practice Sodium apologized profusely to Chlorine. He said that he hadn’t intended to hurt her. Chlorine knew that he didn’t mean it and she quickly forgave him. She learned to keep her lips dry so she wouldn’t get burned so easily.
In college their relationship had begun to affect others. There was one time when Chlorine and Sodium had an argument over the phone. Sodium was stressed out so he decided to go for a swim to try and relieve some of the tension. There were a few people in the pool and one girl was sitting on the side of the pool. Sodium dove into the pool hastily and began swimming. The water splashed and bubbled and when Sodium came up for air he caught a glimpse of the other people jumping out of the pool. He stopped to get a better look as to what was going on. They all had burn marks on their bodies and were glaring at Sodium. Sodium had completely forgotten about the fact that he burns people every time he gets in the pool. Sodium apologized profusely but they all stormed off. He felt bad but at least now he had the pool to himself.
On that very same day when Chlorine got off the phone with Sodium she went headed down to the pool to practice some of her dives. After diving for a few hours the other people began to complain about their eyes, nose and throat burning. Chlorine knew, unfortunately, at that point that it was time to go before she killed someone. Sodium and Chlorine worked through their differences throughout college and once college was over they decide that it was time for them to get married.
There they are on their wedding day. Chlorine is dressed in a beautiful white gown and Sodium is decked out in his tuxedo. Sodium is standing up at the alter as Chlorine walks down the aisle. When the time is right Sodium gives a ring or what he calls an electron to Chlorine. From that very moment they are bonded through holy matrimony. What ends up happening when they bond is they become something completely different. Sodium no longer burns anything when he goes swimming and Chlorine no longer kills people with her poisonous gas. They put aside their differences and become something brand new and much less harmful. That’s right when Sodium and Chlorine bond they become, Salt. How many of us have ever eaten salt? I’m sure once again that all of us have. Was anyone every killed by poisonous gases while eating salt? No, of course not. Has salt ever literally burned your mouth? I think not. So because these two bonded they now have a new set of characteristics and the original characteristics no longer exist. The Salt couple lived happily ever after.
Sodium and Chlorine really like each other but… well like any relationship there obstacles to overcome. Think about it, was there ever a little something about a person that you liked that bothered you? Maybe the person has a weird laugh or they never let you finish a sentence. I’m sure that’s true for most of us. You see, Sodium has this little, tiny problem with Chlorine. Now think about it, where is Chlorine used? We all know that chlorine is commonly used in swimming pools. Well, anytime Chlorine gets to close to anyone she tends to kill them with her poisonous gas…a minor problem for Sodium. Needless to say Sodium is a little nervous about getting too close to Chlorine.
Chlorine on the other hand, is a little nervous about Sodium. What do we know about Sodium? Sodium is a metal that reacts violently with water, so anytime he gets into the pool he burns everything around him. Let’s just say whenever he’s competing against someone from another team, he always burns the competition. Well the two of them decide that they really, really like each other so much that they are going to try and put aside their differences.
Of course no relationship comes without its share of ups and downs. Typically after practice Sodium would walk Chlorine home. They walked hand in hand all the way to Chlorine’s house. Walking home, Sodium was so choked up he could barely breath. Only after Chlorine entered her house would Sodium suddenly feel better. Sodium thought it was because he really liked her. He didn’t realize that he was getting choked up because of her poisonous gases.
Then came the day of their first kiss, which was unlike any other first kiss. One day after walking Chlorine to her house, despite being choked up, Sodium leaned in for a kiss. The moisture on Chlorine’s lips caused Sodium to react and Chlorine felt a sharp burning sensation on her lips. Chlorine slapped him and stormed off.
The next day at practice Sodium apologized profusely to Chlorine. He said that he hadn’t intended to hurt her. Chlorine knew that he didn’t mean it and she quickly forgave him. She learned to keep her lips dry so she wouldn’t get burned so easily.
In college their relationship had begun to affect others. There was one time when Chlorine and Sodium had an argument over the phone. Sodium was stressed out so he decided to go for a swim to try and relieve some of the tension. There were a few people in the pool and one girl was sitting on the side of the pool. Sodium dove into the pool hastily and began swimming. The water splashed and bubbled and when Sodium came up for air he caught a glimpse of the other people jumping out of the pool. He stopped to get a better look as to what was going on. They all had burn marks on their bodies and were glaring at Sodium. Sodium had completely forgotten about the fact that he burns people every time he gets in the pool. Sodium apologized profusely but they all stormed off. He felt bad but at least now he had the pool to himself.
On that very same day when Chlorine got off the phone with Sodium she went headed down to the pool to practice some of her dives. After diving for a few hours the other people began to complain about their eyes, nose and throat burning. Chlorine knew, unfortunately, at that point that it was time to go before she killed someone. Sodium and Chlorine worked through their differences throughout college and once college was over they decide that it was time for them to get married.
There they are on their wedding day. Chlorine is dressed in a beautiful white gown and Sodium is decked out in his tuxedo. Sodium is standing up at the alter as Chlorine walks down the aisle. When the time is right Sodium gives a ring or what he calls an electron to Chlorine. From that very moment they are bonded through holy matrimony. What ends up happening when they bond is they become something completely different. Sodium no longer burns anything when he goes swimming and Chlorine no longer kills people with her poisonous gas. They put aside their differences and become something brand new and much less harmful. That’s right when Sodium and Chlorine bond they become, Salt. How many of us have ever eaten salt? I’m sure once again that all of us have. Was anyone every killed by poisonous gases while eating salt? No, of course not. Has salt ever literally burned your mouth? I think not. So because these two bonded they now have a new set of characteristics and the original characteristics no longer exist. The Salt couple lived happily ever after.
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