Sunday, November 13, 2011

Black and White Photos (continued)

I went back to pick up my black and white photos from Printko. The beautiful blonde with black-rimmed glasses waited on me once again. She had a glow about her today. Like something really good had happened to her already. Today, I was dressed in my business attire. I had just come from work. I was dressed much differently from the last time I was at Printko. Last time I had worn jeans, the only pair that I wear. I own two other pairs of jeans. One is my back up pair, in case the ones I always wear need a wash. I wear that pair only for the brief time the other jeans in the wash. Then back they go into the closet. The third and final pair of jeans is for the garage and yard work, which is covered in stains and rips. With the jeans I worn my old beat up tan work boots, no underwear, a t-shirt, which one I can’t remember, and of course, my black hoodie. This was my standard wardrobe outside of work. On this day, I looked much different. Like a professional and all grown up. Boring.

She remembered me. Of course she would.

She said, “Calvin, right?”

I smiled, “That’s me.”

“I have your pictures right here, let me get them.”

“Take your time…there’s no rush.”

I waited patiently as she searched through a big metal pullout drawer full of pictures that hadn’t been picked up. I was faced perpendicular to the counter looking at the door that I just entered. I had one elbow on the counter. Something caught me eye. I looked over to where the lovely Michele was getting my pictures. She was completely bent over looking in the bottom drawer. I was very impressed and I knew she did this on purpose. Well, if this isn’t a slap in the face that she wants me I don’t know what is. She had a wonderful figure. She either worked out all the time or never ate. I hoped it wasn’t the latter. She returned with the pictures.

“They came out really good. You’re quite the artist.”

“They came out good huh?” So she did see the pictures. “Mind if I check them out before I pay.”

“Not at all.”

I tore the little flap open and pulled out the pictures. I filed through them looking for the pornographic picture that I hoped came out and that I hoped she saw. And there it was. With a post-it note saying, “I like this one the best, Michelle.” A huge smile came across my face. At that point my confidence shot through the roof.

I looked at her and said, “we should go out sometime.”

Her smile brightened, “I’d like that.”

“Give me your number and I’ll give you a call.”

“Sure let me get a pen and paper.”

“Just a pen, you can write it on the back of this picture.” I handed her the picture. She blushed and began to write her number down. Before she was finished I asked her, “And, would mind making a copy of this picture?”

“Sure, I can do it right here on the copier. What size?”

“What ever size you would like. The picture is for you.” Her face was beyond blushing, she was bright red now but still smiling. She made a modest 4x6 print. Good choice I thought. Not overbearing, not too small. She came back and handed me the original and said, “Here you go.” I smiled and told her I would give her a call. I walked out slowly, wondering if she was letting me walk out without paying or if she just didn’t realize. Either way I kept going.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Black and White Photos

I dropped off my pictures at Printko on Thursday in Wallingford. A beautiful blonde with black-rimmed glasses waited on me. I was real nervous about bringing my film anywhere. I had taken some provocative self-portraits in the shower using a mirror. One hand held the camera while the other covered my johnson. I remembered hearing somewhere that you can’t have any pictures developed that had nudity in them. Now, technically, all the important areas where covered but still, I was pushing the limits. Now, to sacrifice embarrassment of people looking at these photos and snickering or smirking when I came into pick them up, I found out Printko sent the film out to get developed. The best part about it, the developing only took 3 days. Walmart said two weeks.

I handed the role to the beautiful baby with a clearly displayed nametag, Michelle. I then remembered I had spoken to her on the phone the night before when I had called inquiring about developing black and white film. She was soft-spoken, a quality I don’t work well with; I’m practically deaf. I smiled softly at her. I wondered if she would see the pictures. Probably not since the film would be shipped out. She had an extremely cute smile, one with a hint of flirtation. I almost popped wood right there. She had me fill out a form: Name, address, phone number. I couldn’t help but think, well, you have my phone number; can I have yours? What a perfect line. I’ve always found it awkward and completely embarrassing to pick up chicks in public. I just feel like everyone is watching. Not to mention if you get shot down. Also, considering that I would eventually pick up these pictures and potentially face rejection all over again. Not to mention the almost pornographic nature of the pictures I was getting developed. How many snickers and smirks would I get if she shot me down? All of this went through my head in the 30 seconds I spent filling out the form. I decided on the “hand over the form and say nothing” routine. A routine I have become quite accustomed to. She took the form, which was also a pouch for the film and placed the film inside.

“Your film will be ready on Monday.” She smiled.

I smiled back and said, “Excellent. I’ll see you then.” Wow, I couldn’t believe I had just said that. That was money.

To be continued next week.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

November Photo - Venice Under Water

Venice Under Water

November Photo - Fat, Dumb, and Happy

Fat, Dumb, and Happy

November Photo - Chippens Hill

Chippens Hill

Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Day Before Halloween

Visiting friend
Brings snow starting at noon
Foreign lunch
A dusting turned blizzard
Cars parked uphill
Firetruck slides down
Rubbing her pants off
Hangin’ with the rents
Trees snapping in half
Axing the rest
Friend alone dark and cold
Pepperoni and cheese
Cookies and wine
Waiting in line for gas
Show’s canceled
Let’s hang here instead
Red or white
Pour me some more
Power’s out
Candles and flashlights
Another cookie for you
Time for home
Blocked roads galore
New snow blower put to use
Thankful for power
More snow fell
Carved pumpkins
Jack-o-lanterns
School’s cancelled
Drove over lines
Fourteen inches
The day before Halloween

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Stay-At-Home

There’s something glamorous about the job of being a stay-at-home dad. The only part that bothers me is the dad part. I think the perfect job would simply be a stay-at-homer.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Third World Woes

Woe as me:
To market walking
Shelter is leaking
No food for eating
Sister is dying
My death impending

Sunday, October 9, 2011

First World Woes

Woe as me:
Tire needs fixing
Fuel pump not working
Car loan needs paying
Brake light is blinking
Fuel tank needs filling

The house needs siding
Driveway needs paving
Faucet is dripping
Front lawn needs mowing
Furnace needs mending

Dinner needs fixing
House needs vacuuming
Dishes need cleaning
Trinkets need dusting
Laundry needs washing

Boss is hassling
Today late working
Weekend laboring
Pay is decreasing
Jobs people losing