The other day a friend of mine said to me sarcastically, “Ain’t that a plate of sunshine,” in response to my description of a horrible day. I began to think, what the hell is a plate of sunshine anyway? After ponding the statement on my way home from work, I placed a white plate with water in it out on the deck railing behind my house. Standing back a few feet from the plate, I begin to move around the deck until I saw the reflection of the sun on the plate of water. The blinding, painful sun forced my eyes to close and I thought to myself, now, that is a plate of sunshine! Maybe my friend shouldn’t have been so sarcastic.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Plate of Sunshine
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The Last 24 hours in China (Part 3)
We passed teenage girl sitting on the sidewalk. What she was doing there I have no idea. We just kept walking. We walked underneath a dark underpass with a man sleeping in his van. We made a point to walk near traffic so we could be seen. We walked past cars parked on the entrance ramp to the airport. Drivers standing next to there parked cars stared at us. We kept walking. A man in a bright orange suit with a broom stared us with a baffled look upon his face as we walked up the entrance ramp to the airport. I said, “Ne how (hello in Chinese),” and he responded something in Chinese but we continued to walk right past him. We passed more parked cars and drivers sleeping or talking on their cell phones. We were almost there. We finally reached the door to the terminal with a sigh of relief but we soon realized the door wouldn’t open. The sign said to go to door 6 so our marched continued.
When we reached door six it quickly opened and for the first time in about an hour we felt safe. We found the first seats that we could and sat down. We began to regroup and reassess our situation. Just sit down and rest was our only task.
For the next few hours I mostly tried to sleep. Holly found snacks and water, she sought out information about our flight, and she complained about the taxi service in a letter to the airport.
When 5 o’clock came Holly went to get freshened up and changed her clothes. Upon her return we took the airport shuttle to Terminal 2. From there we went through the tiring process of getting checked in, going through customs and security, finding our gate, and grabbing a bit to eat, and waiting for our flight to board. First, we would fly to Tokyo where we would have a short layover.
As you can imagine it was a long flight, 12 hours back to the U.S. from Tokyo. Holly and I had separate seats so I visited her whenever the person next to me got up. She had a large screen television in front of her that didn’t work so she pretty much stared at a blank screen for the entire flight. We had made it a point to discuss that we would fill out one customs form and go through together at JFK. One thing we were both happy about was abundance of American food on the flight. Sure it was airline food but we ate every bite because we hadn’t had food like it in 20 days.
One thing I noticed on our flight was that one of the American flight attendants that we had was not very understanding of people that couldn’t speak English. This was different from what we experienced when flying in Asia. Flight attendants would look at us and automatically do their best to speak English. The American flight attendant did her best to talk English slowly and clearly to anyone who couldn’t speak English. Now, if some one approached you and starting talking very slowly and clearly in Chinese would you understand? I think not. I guess you could say that we English speakers are very lucky that the rest of the world basically caters to our lack of speaking multiple languages.
Our plane touched down at JFK just around 3 o’clock in the afternoon on August 11th. The most interesting aspect was that we left Tokyo at the same time and day that we arrived in New York. It was like traveling through time.
The plane began to disembark. Finally, when it was my turn I exited the plane, I turned right at the end of the jet bridge, all the meanwhile wondering when I would see Holly. She was seated in front of me so I knew she got off the plane first. I continued walking amidst the herd of people heading for customs. I was shocked that I hadn’t seen Holly by this point. I began winding through the many lanes of the customs carousel just following the people in front of me when finally I said to myself, ‘stop!’
‘Where the hell was Holly?’ I thought. I began peering through the crowd. I couldn’t see her anywhere. ‘How could I have missed her?’ I saw a woman who worked for the airport and I waved her over. I explained that I couldn’t find my wife. She looked at me like I lost my right arm. I explained that we didn’t sit together and that she got off the plane before me. The woman asked for her name and went on the other side of customs to see if Holly was there. She returned without any news of Holly and handed me a blank customs form and recommended that I go through customs. It was then that I finally saw Holly walking toward the customs line. I was baffled. How did she get behind me and so far behind me? We came to the conclusion that there must have been multiple exits or jet bridges from the plane and somehow we missed each other. Thankfully, we were finally back in the U.S. What a relief after the last 48 hours.
When we reached door six it quickly opened and for the first time in about an hour we felt safe. We found the first seats that we could and sat down. We began to regroup and reassess our situation. Just sit down and rest was our only task.
For the next few hours I mostly tried to sleep. Holly found snacks and water, she sought out information about our flight, and she complained about the taxi service in a letter to the airport.
When 5 o’clock came Holly went to get freshened up and changed her clothes. Upon her return we took the airport shuttle to Terminal 2. From there we went through the tiring process of getting checked in, going through customs and security, finding our gate, and grabbing a bit to eat, and waiting for our flight to board. First, we would fly to Tokyo where we would have a short layover.
As you can imagine it was a long flight, 12 hours back to the U.S. from Tokyo. Holly and I had separate seats so I visited her whenever the person next to me got up. She had a large screen television in front of her that didn’t work so she pretty much stared at a blank screen for the entire flight. We had made it a point to discuss that we would fill out one customs form and go through together at JFK. One thing we were both happy about was abundance of American food on the flight. Sure it was airline food but we ate every bite because we hadn’t had food like it in 20 days.
One thing I noticed on our flight was that one of the American flight attendants that we had was not very understanding of people that couldn’t speak English. This was different from what we experienced when flying in Asia. Flight attendants would look at us and automatically do their best to speak English. The American flight attendant did her best to talk English slowly and clearly to anyone who couldn’t speak English. Now, if some one approached you and starting talking very slowly and clearly in Chinese would you understand? I think not. I guess you could say that we English speakers are very lucky that the rest of the world basically caters to our lack of speaking multiple languages.
Our plane touched down at JFK just around 3 o’clock in the afternoon on August 11th. The most interesting aspect was that we left Tokyo at the same time and day that we arrived in New York. It was like traveling through time.
The plane began to disembark. Finally, when it was my turn I exited the plane, I turned right at the end of the jet bridge, all the meanwhile wondering when I would see Holly. She was seated in front of me so I knew she got off the plane first. I continued walking amidst the herd of people heading for customs. I was shocked that I hadn’t seen Holly by this point. I began winding through the many lanes of the customs carousel just following the people in front of me when finally I said to myself, ‘stop!’
‘Where the hell was Holly?’ I thought. I began peering through the crowd. I couldn’t see her anywhere. ‘How could I have missed her?’ I saw a woman who worked for the airport and I waved her over. I explained that I couldn’t find my wife. She looked at me like I lost my right arm. I explained that we didn’t sit together and that she got off the plane before me. The woman asked for her name and went on the other side of customs to see if Holly was there. She returned without any news of Holly and handed me a blank customs form and recommended that I go through customs. It was then that I finally saw Holly walking toward the customs line. I was baffled. How did she get behind me and so far behind me? We came to the conclusion that there must have been multiple exits or jet bridges from the plane and somehow we missed each other. Thankfully, we were finally back in the U.S. What a relief after the last 48 hours.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
The Last 24 hours in China (Part 2)
We made no hesitation about grabbing our belongings and leaving. In the lobby Bimba was checking us out and Nimalah was taking our bags and loading them into the back of the vehicle. Bimba approached and said that we owed 8 Yuan for the water we drank in the room. Holly and I felt that after the fiasco that we just went through with the door the hotel should be willing to waive the fee and we told Bimba that. I mean think about it. The hotel management wasn’t able to get our bags back. Without Bimba’s brave shenanigans our bags would still be locked inside the room. Why should we pay for water when they couldn’t even unlock our door?
We walked with Bimba to the front desk and he explained, we hoped, in Tibetan, what we had just conveyed to him. After a spitter-spatter of words that we couldn’t understand from Bimba there was a slight pause and following was a line of staff all saying ‘sorry.’
Our faces lit up. Apparently, it was that easy. No arguing. No second-guessing. The hotel staff apologized and we were on our way to the airport. Another guide joined us on the journey to the airport. Nimalah was picking up another group at the airport so the guide that he would be working with came along.
At the airport Bimba and Nimalah helped us with our baggage and got us checked in. Then we said our goodbyes and passed over our tip money for them, 500 Yuan (about $75) for Nimalah and 600 for Bimba. Bimba got a little extra because he dangled on the side of the hotel four floors above the ground.
We spent some uneventful time at the airport and then flew to Chengdu where we had an hour layover before flying to Beijing. By the time we reached Beijing it was after 11:00 at night. We were hoping to see some indication that a shuttle was waiting to take us to our hotel but no such luck. Holly had emailed our Beijing hotel while in Tibet and asked them if they would pick us up but we didn’t receive a response in time. Regretfully, we would take a taxi and furthermore, we would be waiting in line for awhile before getting one.
When it was finally our turn we hopped into a taxi and showed him the address. He looked confused, he called the number on the paper, he showed the paper to another man, he called again, he put his flashers on, got out of the car, and showed the paper to someone else. Putting these events together we concluded that our driver had no idea where our hotel was. Another taxi cab driver approached our vehicle that could speak English. He told us that he would bring us because he knew where the hotel was. We were a little nervous about this. Something just didn’t feel right about it. We realized that the drivers wanted to switch patrons and we reluctantly switched. We heaved our bags out of one trunk and into another. When we sat down in the back of the next cab we checked the meter and it said 11.00. Wondering why it already said 11.00 Yuan, we asked him to reset it. After unsuccessfully trying to explain to us why the meter already said 11.00 he refused to reset it. That was enough grounds for us to leave to taxi. We told him to open the trunk. He became very agitated and an argument ensued. After some harsh words he reluctantly opened the trunk and we heaved our bags out of the trunk and walked away. The driver being very upset followed us. We walked right up to one of the airport attendants. The driver shouted and yelled at the attendant and when he was finished she looked at us very calmly and asked us in English what had happened. We explained and she said that we could get another taxi. Our former driver went on to take another patron and we heaved our bags into yet another trunk.
We gave our hotel booking slip to the driver. He looked at the address, he looked at the phone number, he called, he hung up, he called again, and he shrugged his shoulders. Based upon his body language we could tell he had no idea where to take us. So out of the taxi we went and heaved our luggage out of yet another trunk. We were very angry at this point. It was almost midnight and we had an early morning flight back to the states. All we wanted was for this night to end.
Another taxi driver saw our agitation and he said questioningly in English, “Taxi?” We rambled on about how he would be the fourth taxi and did he think he could really bring us to our hotel. After three other taxi’s we had our doubts. He assured us that he could so in our bags went into the trunk and into the back seat we went. Now, we were finally leaving the airport. We were amazed. We thought for a second we might actually make it to our hotel. Quickly, our hopes and dreams of a good night sleep came crashing down. The meter on the dashboard said 0.00. I asked him to turn on the meter and he refused. I told him to turn on the meter and he said, “No meter, 70 Yuan.” I knew that was too much so I told him we didn’t have that money and to put the meter on. What he was trying to do was make us pay more than what the ride would really cost. An argument ensued and I yelled for him to pull over and let us out. Thankfully he pulled over and now we yelled for him to open the trunk. He yelled, “You pay me!” We yelled back, “No! The meter says zero.” He angrily got out of the car and we did as well. He opened the trunk and we quickly grabbed our things. After some more harsh words, the taxi cab sped away and we were left standing on the side of the road in Beijing at midnight.
There wasn’t much we could do not to panic. There were some buses pulled over on the side of the road so we went for them. The drivers inside were trying to sleep and we tried to ask one for help but he waved his head and hands in a manner that said, ‘no.’ It was then we stopped and looked at each other. I said, “Alright let’s think about this for a moment. What are our options?” Holly had a plan. “Let’s walk back to the airport. Stay there tonight and catch our flight tomorrow morning.” I thought it was a great idea. I pretty much had no clue as to how to handle the situation. We began the walk back to the airport. We realized that a five minute drive turns out to be a long walk especially when carrying forty pounds on your back. Walking the streets of a far away country at midnight didn’t help our nerves either.
To Be Continued Next Week
We walked with Bimba to the front desk and he explained, we hoped, in Tibetan, what we had just conveyed to him. After a spitter-spatter of words that we couldn’t understand from Bimba there was a slight pause and following was a line of staff all saying ‘sorry.’
Our faces lit up. Apparently, it was that easy. No arguing. No second-guessing. The hotel staff apologized and we were on our way to the airport. Another guide joined us on the journey to the airport. Nimalah was picking up another group at the airport so the guide that he would be working with came along.
At the airport Bimba and Nimalah helped us with our baggage and got us checked in. Then we said our goodbyes and passed over our tip money for them, 500 Yuan (about $75) for Nimalah and 600 for Bimba. Bimba got a little extra because he dangled on the side of the hotel four floors above the ground.
We spent some uneventful time at the airport and then flew to Chengdu where we had an hour layover before flying to Beijing. By the time we reached Beijing it was after 11:00 at night. We were hoping to see some indication that a shuttle was waiting to take us to our hotel but no such luck. Holly had emailed our Beijing hotel while in Tibet and asked them if they would pick us up but we didn’t receive a response in time. Regretfully, we would take a taxi and furthermore, we would be waiting in line for awhile before getting one.
When it was finally our turn we hopped into a taxi and showed him the address. He looked confused, he called the number on the paper, he showed the paper to another man, he called again, he put his flashers on, got out of the car, and showed the paper to someone else. Putting these events together we concluded that our driver had no idea where our hotel was. Another taxi cab driver approached our vehicle that could speak English. He told us that he would bring us because he knew where the hotel was. We were a little nervous about this. Something just didn’t feel right about it. We realized that the drivers wanted to switch patrons and we reluctantly switched. We heaved our bags out of one trunk and into another. When we sat down in the back of the next cab we checked the meter and it said 11.00. Wondering why it already said 11.00 Yuan, we asked him to reset it. After unsuccessfully trying to explain to us why the meter already said 11.00 he refused to reset it. That was enough grounds for us to leave to taxi. We told him to open the trunk. He became very agitated and an argument ensued. After some harsh words he reluctantly opened the trunk and we heaved our bags out of the trunk and walked away. The driver being very upset followed us. We walked right up to one of the airport attendants. The driver shouted and yelled at the attendant and when he was finished she looked at us very calmly and asked us in English what had happened. We explained and she said that we could get another taxi. Our former driver went on to take another patron and we heaved our bags into yet another trunk.
We gave our hotel booking slip to the driver. He looked at the address, he looked at the phone number, he called, he hung up, he called again, and he shrugged his shoulders. Based upon his body language we could tell he had no idea where to take us. So out of the taxi we went and heaved our luggage out of yet another trunk. We were very angry at this point. It was almost midnight and we had an early morning flight back to the states. All we wanted was for this night to end.
Another taxi driver saw our agitation and he said questioningly in English, “Taxi?” We rambled on about how he would be the fourth taxi and did he think he could really bring us to our hotel. After three other taxi’s we had our doubts. He assured us that he could so in our bags went into the trunk and into the back seat we went. Now, we were finally leaving the airport. We were amazed. We thought for a second we might actually make it to our hotel. Quickly, our hopes and dreams of a good night sleep came crashing down. The meter on the dashboard said 0.00. I asked him to turn on the meter and he refused. I told him to turn on the meter and he said, “No meter, 70 Yuan.” I knew that was too much so I told him we didn’t have that money and to put the meter on. What he was trying to do was make us pay more than what the ride would really cost. An argument ensued and I yelled for him to pull over and let us out. Thankfully he pulled over and now we yelled for him to open the trunk. He yelled, “You pay me!” We yelled back, “No! The meter says zero.” He angrily got out of the car and we did as well. He opened the trunk and we quickly grabbed our things. After some more harsh words, the taxi cab sped away and we were left standing on the side of the road in Beijing at midnight.
There wasn’t much we could do not to panic. There were some buses pulled over on the side of the road so we went for them. The drivers inside were trying to sleep and we tried to ask one for help but he waved his head and hands in a manner that said, ‘no.’ It was then we stopped and looked at each other. I said, “Alright let’s think about this for a moment. What are our options?” Holly had a plan. “Let’s walk back to the airport. Stay there tonight and catch our flight tomorrow morning.” I thought it was a great idea. I pretty much had no clue as to how to handle the situation. We began the walk back to the airport. We realized that a five minute drive turns out to be a long walk especially when carrying forty pounds on your back. Walking the streets of a far away country at midnight didn’t help our nerves either.
To Be Continued Next Week
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Last 24 Hours in China
It was the morning of August 10th. Holly and I had slept like rocks the night before. We had nothing planned in the morning and ended up sleeping in and simply relaxing. For fear of missing breakfast we got out of bed and headed downstairs to the dinning hall. Breakfast was pretty uneventful. After 19 days of almost the same thing for breakfast we were ready for a change.
Upon return to our room, we took showers, repacked our suitcases to insure our souvenirs were protected. We made an attempt at heading out to the markets but the moment we stepped out from the lobby we realized it was raining. With no interest in getting wet, we headed back to our room. We saw Bimba and Nimalah in the lobby. We were surprised to see them so early. It was 11o’clock and we weren’t due to see them until 12:30. When we reached our room and inserted the card into our door, the light on the doorknob turned red. After many attempts we were unsuccessful in entering our room. I know what you’re thinking we probably just weren’t using the card properly. I mean they are so finicky. We did, however, use the card to get into our room the night before multiple times without a problem and we had been at this hotel before for several nights and used the card without a problem.
The first thing that Holly thought was that the hotel discontinued access since we were checking out in an hour. We went to the lobby, inquired and they told us that the card was working. We took the elevator back up to the 4th floor and attempted our card again without any results. Getting angry at this point we marched back down to the lobby, using the elevator of course and explained to them once again that the card did not work. They told us they would send someone up.
Now, after multiple people and multiple cards and keys were attempted the door still remained locked with all of our luggage inside. I went downstairs and out to the street to go to an ATM so that I could tip our guide and driver, on my way out I saw Bimba again and I told him about the unopened door.
When I arrived back at the hotel a few minutes later Bimba and I went upstairs to check on the situation; still no progress. A man with a toolbox arrived and a locksmith was also called but Bimba decided to take matters into his own hands. There were a group of people all talking in Tibetan so we had no idea really what was going on. The management keyed into the rooms next to ours and they began to scope things out. Based on body language and a rope we realized that Bimba was going to try and exit out a window, remember now we’re on the 4th floor, and climb onto the windowsill and cross over to our room. We tried endlessly to deter Bimba from doing this but he moved fast and before we knew it he had popped in one room and out another; only he popped out the wrong room. Yes, that’s right he had gone out on to the windowsill four floors high and came back in the wrong room. Without skipping a beat he was back out on the windowsill and I watched backwards through the peephole of our room that he was entering our window from the outside. The door opened and there Bimba stood with a big grin on his face.
To Be Continued Next Week.
Upon return to our room, we took showers, repacked our suitcases to insure our souvenirs were protected. We made an attempt at heading out to the markets but the moment we stepped out from the lobby we realized it was raining. With no interest in getting wet, we headed back to our room. We saw Bimba and Nimalah in the lobby. We were surprised to see them so early. It was 11o’clock and we weren’t due to see them until 12:30. When we reached our room and inserted the card into our door, the light on the doorknob turned red. After many attempts we were unsuccessful in entering our room. I know what you’re thinking we probably just weren’t using the card properly. I mean they are so finicky. We did, however, use the card to get into our room the night before multiple times without a problem and we had been at this hotel before for several nights and used the card without a problem.
The first thing that Holly thought was that the hotel discontinued access since we were checking out in an hour. We went to the lobby, inquired and they told us that the card was working. We took the elevator back up to the 4th floor and attempted our card again without any results. Getting angry at this point we marched back down to the lobby, using the elevator of course and explained to them once again that the card did not work. They told us they would send someone up.
Now, after multiple people and multiple cards and keys were attempted the door still remained locked with all of our luggage inside. I went downstairs and out to the street to go to an ATM so that I could tip our guide and driver, on my way out I saw Bimba again and I told him about the unopened door.
When I arrived back at the hotel a few minutes later Bimba and I went upstairs to check on the situation; still no progress. A man with a toolbox arrived and a locksmith was also called but Bimba decided to take matters into his own hands. There were a group of people all talking in Tibetan so we had no idea really what was going on. The management keyed into the rooms next to ours and they began to scope things out. Based on body language and a rope we realized that Bimba was going to try and exit out a window, remember now we’re on the 4th floor, and climb onto the windowsill and cross over to our room. We tried endlessly to deter Bimba from doing this but he moved fast and before we knew it he had popped in one room and out another; only he popped out the wrong room. Yes, that’s right he had gone out on to the windowsill four floors high and came back in the wrong room. Without skipping a beat he was back out on the windowsill and I watched backwards through the peephole of our room that he was entering our window from the outside. The door opened and there Bimba stood with a big grin on his face.
To Be Continued Next Week.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Europe – Munchen, Germany
I decided I needed to chill out for a day so I went to a cigar shop and found out that they sold Cubans. I picked one up and headed for The English Gardens. At one of the entrances to the park there was a tunnel underneath the road. Water was gushing into the park from the tunnel and created a river that flowed through the park. Rapids formed right near the tunnel and people were surfing them. I sat down, smoked my cigar and watched for about an hour. Then I walked around the gardens. People were sunbathing, swimming in the river, walking, and cycling. Some people were even sunbathing in the nude. They were mostly old fat men though.
I headed back to the hostel after picking up some more Cuban cigars to bring back home. Back at the hostel I dosed off for a bit and then smoked another cigar. In the evening, my roommates and I headed out for the beer garden. Afterwards we went in search of a bar. After awhile of not finding one and getting poured on we finally found a bar which was having a Latino night. Latino night in Germany; never thought I would partake in something like that. We enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.
I headed back to the hostel after picking up some more Cuban cigars to bring back home. Back at the hostel I dosed off for a bit and then smoked another cigar. In the evening, my roommates and I headed out for the beer garden. Afterwards we went in search of a bar. After awhile of not finding one and getting poured on we finally found a bar which was having a Latino night. Latino night in Germany; never thought I would partake in something like that. We enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Day 1 – New Zealand
We arrived in Auckland between 5 and 6 in the morning. Since it was early and Escape camper van rentals didn’t open until 8, we decided to hang around the airport until 7. Then we took the Airbus into the city center.
It’s hard to imagine losing an entire day traveling. We left one location on July 1st and arrived at another on July 3rd. People have tried to explain how you actually lose a day but I don’t think you fully understand it until you are a part of it.
We left San Francisco around 9 P.M. on the 1st so it was just getting dark. I thought we would follow the rotation of the Earth and it would be light out while flying but I was wrong. The plane never actually catches up with the Sun. In fact the rotation happens much faster than the plane travels. As the plane travels in the shadow of darkness, the rotation of the Earth is causing the Sun to move around the Earth. Eventually, the Sun comes up behind you. We stayed in perpetual darkness while flying. When we landed it was morning and the Sun caught up to us a few hours later. It was now the morning of July 3rd. What happened to the 2nd? It was lost forever.
We arrived in Auckland center around 8. I checked a map on the bus and realized that Escape van rentals was up the road a few blocks. We found that the gate was locked and there was a sign on the side of the building. It said if the building was unoccupied to call a number. We did and apparently they didn’t open until 8:30. After waiting for a few minutes someone arrived. We placed our bags in the office and the man told us it would be “a little while” before the owner was there to finalize the paperwork. After we inquired what “a little while” was we went for breakfast up the street and came back about 45 minutes later.
The owner gave us the “insurance-extra-charge” spiel and we declined. We would take a gamble and it would be a big scary gamble since we would have to train ourselves to drive on the left hand side of the road.
We inspected the vehicle and Andrew, the owner, explained everything about the vehicle. Soon we were on our way but not without taking the emergency brake off. Oops.
It was difficult to get used to driving, first of all, because I was on the right side of the vehicle. I turned the windshield wipers on at least five times instead of the blinker. The goal was to drive straight and follow the car in front of me. It was easy to get to the highway: two lefts and straight. Then I had to get used to being in the correct part of the lane because I was positioned on the right side of the vehicle. I now had to look to my left to see in my rearview mirror and realized I had a large blind spot on the left side of the vehicle. It was definitely difficult to get used to. I developed a phrase to help me making proper turns: little left, big right. When turning left it is a small radius turn and when turning right it is a large radius turn.
We stopped for gas and that was an event in itself. We could not figure out how to use the gas pump. Some nice Kiwi asked us if we needed help and gave us some. The gas was $2.12 a liter, which basically meant $8 a gallon. $95 later our tank was full and we were back on the highway.
Our destination was only about a half hour from Auckland; a half hour of driving up hill, downhill, through neighborhoods, overlooking beaches, and a combination of windy and straight roads, all while thinking that oncoming traffic is on my right and the vehicles behind me were just to close. After a half hour of driving my head was spinning. It was way too much stimulation for whatever day it was. We parked our camper van at a camping site right in front of the beach. We couldn’t have asked for a better spot, except for the ground being wet. It was quite slippery.
We hung out for a bit, Holly took a shower and afterwards mentioned how frighteningly cold the water was. I decided then that I would not be taking a shower. We decided to venture out in search of a supermarket. Apparently, I hadn’t had enough driving yet.
We thought we would be adventurous and get some chicken to cook up. We battled wind and rain while cooking on our propane burner. We wound up having fully cooked teriyaki chicken yet lukewarm and covered in dirt because Escape rentals never cleaned the pan. Mmmm. With rain sporadic for the rest of the evening we hung around inside of our van playing cards and making up games. We went to bed at a nice round hour of 8.
It’s hard to imagine losing an entire day traveling. We left one location on July 1st and arrived at another on July 3rd. People have tried to explain how you actually lose a day but I don’t think you fully understand it until you are a part of it.
We left San Francisco around 9 P.M. on the 1st so it was just getting dark. I thought we would follow the rotation of the Earth and it would be light out while flying but I was wrong. The plane never actually catches up with the Sun. In fact the rotation happens much faster than the plane travels. As the plane travels in the shadow of darkness, the rotation of the Earth is causing the Sun to move around the Earth. Eventually, the Sun comes up behind you. We stayed in perpetual darkness while flying. When we landed it was morning and the Sun caught up to us a few hours later. It was now the morning of July 3rd. What happened to the 2nd? It was lost forever.
We arrived in Auckland center around 8. I checked a map on the bus and realized that Escape van rentals was up the road a few blocks. We found that the gate was locked and there was a sign on the side of the building. It said if the building was unoccupied to call a number. We did and apparently they didn’t open until 8:30. After waiting for a few minutes someone arrived. We placed our bags in the office and the man told us it would be “a little while” before the owner was there to finalize the paperwork. After we inquired what “a little while” was we went for breakfast up the street and came back about 45 minutes later.
The owner gave us the “insurance-extra-charge” spiel and we declined. We would take a gamble and it would be a big scary gamble since we would have to train ourselves to drive on the left hand side of the road.
We inspected the vehicle and Andrew, the owner, explained everything about the vehicle. Soon we were on our way but not without taking the emergency brake off. Oops.
It was difficult to get used to driving, first of all, because I was on the right side of the vehicle. I turned the windshield wipers on at least five times instead of the blinker. The goal was to drive straight and follow the car in front of me. It was easy to get to the highway: two lefts and straight. Then I had to get used to being in the correct part of the lane because I was positioned on the right side of the vehicle. I now had to look to my left to see in my rearview mirror and realized I had a large blind spot on the left side of the vehicle. It was definitely difficult to get used to. I developed a phrase to help me making proper turns: little left, big right. When turning left it is a small radius turn and when turning right it is a large radius turn.
We stopped for gas and that was an event in itself. We could not figure out how to use the gas pump. Some nice Kiwi asked us if we needed help and gave us some. The gas was $2.12 a liter, which basically meant $8 a gallon. $95 later our tank was full and we were back on the highway.
Our destination was only about a half hour from Auckland; a half hour of driving up hill, downhill, through neighborhoods, overlooking beaches, and a combination of windy and straight roads, all while thinking that oncoming traffic is on my right and the vehicles behind me were just to close. After a half hour of driving my head was spinning. It was way too much stimulation for whatever day it was. We parked our camper van at a camping site right in front of the beach. We couldn’t have asked for a better spot, except for the ground being wet. It was quite slippery.
We hung out for a bit, Holly took a shower and afterwards mentioned how frighteningly cold the water was. I decided then that I would not be taking a shower. We decided to venture out in search of a supermarket. Apparently, I hadn’t had enough driving yet.
We thought we would be adventurous and get some chicken to cook up. We battled wind and rain while cooking on our propane burner. We wound up having fully cooked teriyaki chicken yet lukewarm and covered in dirt because Escape rentals never cleaned the pan. Mmmm. With rain sporadic for the rest of the evening we hung around inside of our van playing cards and making up games. We went to bed at a nice round hour of 8.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Setting Free Your Mind
Once you realize that what you really want is what you already have, you will be able set your mind at ease.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Breaking and Entering (excerpt 3)
I leaned my head back, turned my body to go back down the hallway and carefully began making my steps toward the stairwell. As I walked I thought to myself, what will I take… as a memento of this occasion? Something that will be missed but not to noticeable. I reached the top of the stairs and looked into the living room. I went to the lamp stand with the picture on it. There was one coaster on the table as well. I looked for the matching set of coasters and clear across the room there they were all stacked up nice and neatly on the other lamp stand. I bent over and picked up the single coaster and placed it in my back pocket. Perfect. Surely she would notice that a coaster was missing but she simple could get another one from the other side of the room. She might ponder about that for a moment.
Back at the top of the stairs, I slipped my way down to the basement. I was much darker down there so I had to carefully take my path from before so as to bump over one of the boxes. I approached the back door, carefully opened it without the slightest sound. I turned the knob to lock the door, passed through the door way, turned to face the door and gently closed the door shut. I checked that the door was locked. I turned and walked toward the shed. I opened the door, stepped inside, and closed the door behind me. I smoothly placed the key back exactly where it was, slipped out the doorway and latched the door shut. I walked straight out the driveway and turned left when I hit the road. Again, not a soul around, not a light, or car, no one knew what I had just done.
Now, what I believed to be my most difficult task, getting back into my bedroom window. I just needed a boost or something to stand on. But I couldn’t leave something at the bottom of my window until morning, surely someone, probably my Dad, would notice it. I stood in the backyard staring at my bedroom. I couldn’t help but think, shit, I really should have thought about this before I jumped out of the window. All I needed was a foot maybe two to get back into my bedroom. I thought of plenty of things to use, a patio chair, my sisters plastic slide, my Mom’s gardening bucket but I couldn’t keep any of it right outside by bedroom window. Then I saw it, the garden hose. My Mom had watered the flowers yesterday afternoon and was moving the reel all around the house. No one would probably notice if the garden hose was moved so picked up the reel and moved it a few feet closer to my window. I stood on top, put my hands on the window sill and jumped up. It was just enough height to get in. I would have to come up with a better plan in the future. Once inside I closed the window partially, took off my shoes, placed them in the closet, took the coaster out of my back pocket, placed it in my desk drawer, stripped off my tight jeans and t-shirt, removed my bracelets, and moved slowly into bed. I laid atop the sheets face up with my hands behind my head. I smiled and thought to myself, what a spectacular night.
Back at the top of the stairs, I slipped my way down to the basement. I was much darker down there so I had to carefully take my path from before so as to bump over one of the boxes. I approached the back door, carefully opened it without the slightest sound. I turned the knob to lock the door, passed through the door way, turned to face the door and gently closed the door shut. I checked that the door was locked. I turned and walked toward the shed. I opened the door, stepped inside, and closed the door behind me. I smoothly placed the key back exactly where it was, slipped out the doorway and latched the door shut. I walked straight out the driveway and turned left when I hit the road. Again, not a soul around, not a light, or car, no one knew what I had just done.
Now, what I believed to be my most difficult task, getting back into my bedroom window. I just needed a boost or something to stand on. But I couldn’t leave something at the bottom of my window until morning, surely someone, probably my Dad, would notice it. I stood in the backyard staring at my bedroom. I couldn’t help but think, shit, I really should have thought about this before I jumped out of the window. All I needed was a foot maybe two to get back into my bedroom. I thought of plenty of things to use, a patio chair, my sisters plastic slide, my Mom’s gardening bucket but I couldn’t keep any of it right outside by bedroom window. Then I saw it, the garden hose. My Mom had watered the flowers yesterday afternoon and was moving the reel all around the house. No one would probably notice if the garden hose was moved so picked up the reel and moved it a few feet closer to my window. I stood on top, put my hands on the window sill and jumped up. It was just enough height to get in. I would have to come up with a better plan in the future. Once inside I closed the window partially, took off my shoes, placed them in the closet, took the coaster out of my back pocket, placed it in my desk drawer, stripped off my tight jeans and t-shirt, removed my bracelets, and moved slowly into bed. I laid atop the sheets face up with my hands behind my head. I smiled and thought to myself, what a spectacular night.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Breaking and Entering (excerpt 2)
This was awesome! The lights from the street provided a hint of glow throughout the house. I could make out some of the tiniest details. I could see magazines laid out on the coffee table and a remote for the television as well. I saw a picture frame standing up on the lamp stand, and a snow globe on the T.V. stand. Candles sat atop another lamp stand. I smile came over my face. This was awesome!
I continued to sit perfectly content. The couch was soft and moderately worn from years of use. I leaned back, put my hands behind my head and gently put my feet up onto the wooden coffee table. I twitched; the thought to lean forward and pick up a magazine popped into mind but the thought vanished more quickly than it had arrived. I was certain that first, the magazine wouldn’t be worth reading and second, that the dim light would not be enough to read comfortably. The sound of silence was amazing. I thrived in it. I could have stayed there all night but I felt the urge to explore more.
I slowly lifted my feet off the coffee table. Leaned forward and stood up straight. I turned and walked right toward the T.V., I turned again and walked straight for the dinning room. A tea set lay atop the table and placemats were set in front of the four seats. There was a hutch in the corner with plates neatly displayed behind glass doors.
I turned to my left and peered into the kitchen. There was a small round table with a red checker board table cloth pushed to one side of the room. There was a candle and a long thin lighter on the table. I thought about lighting the candle, not so the house would burn down. I didn’t want that to happen. What I wanted was Ann to wake up in the morning and be startled by the lit candle. I could hear her thoughts; did I leave the candle burning last night? Then she would quickly blow out the candle as to try and erase the event. But, I didn’t want to take the chance of something bad happening so I turned around to peer at the rest of the kitchen.
The curtains in the window above the sink matched the table cloth. I could see wooden cut outs of chickens nailed to the wall underneath the cabinets. The dishtowels hanging over the railing on the stove had the same matching chickens. I walked through the doorway to the kitchen and now faced the stairs. I turned right and looked straight down the hallway. The hallway seemed a mile long. I took one step, and another, and another. I continued making my quiet steps down the hallway. I passed the bathroom on the right, a bedroom on the left and suddenly there was a creak in the floor board. I stopped quickly, waited, and listened. I sensed no other disruption within the house. I noted the position of the creaky board so as to not step there again on my return. I continued and shortly approached the end of the hallway. There were two bedrooms at the end of the hall. The one on the right would be Ann’s bedroom. I stopped for a moment and listened. I could her heavy breathing indicating sleep. I leaned my head forward and eyed into her bedroom. I could barely see her amidst the sheets and blankets but I could tell that her face was turned in my direction. I smiled. All she had to do was open her eyes and she would have seen me. My smile grew larger.
I continued to sit perfectly content. The couch was soft and moderately worn from years of use. I leaned back, put my hands behind my head and gently put my feet up onto the wooden coffee table. I twitched; the thought to lean forward and pick up a magazine popped into mind but the thought vanished more quickly than it had arrived. I was certain that first, the magazine wouldn’t be worth reading and second, that the dim light would not be enough to read comfortably. The sound of silence was amazing. I thrived in it. I could have stayed there all night but I felt the urge to explore more.
I slowly lifted my feet off the coffee table. Leaned forward and stood up straight. I turned and walked right toward the T.V., I turned again and walked straight for the dinning room. A tea set lay atop the table and placemats were set in front of the four seats. There was a hutch in the corner with plates neatly displayed behind glass doors.
I turned to my left and peered into the kitchen. There was a small round table with a red checker board table cloth pushed to one side of the room. There was a candle and a long thin lighter on the table. I thought about lighting the candle, not so the house would burn down. I didn’t want that to happen. What I wanted was Ann to wake up in the morning and be startled by the lit candle. I could hear her thoughts; did I leave the candle burning last night? Then she would quickly blow out the candle as to try and erase the event. But, I didn’t want to take the chance of something bad happening so I turned around to peer at the rest of the kitchen.
The curtains in the window above the sink matched the table cloth. I could see wooden cut outs of chickens nailed to the wall underneath the cabinets. The dishtowels hanging over the railing on the stove had the same matching chickens. I walked through the doorway to the kitchen and now faced the stairs. I turned right and looked straight down the hallway. The hallway seemed a mile long. I took one step, and another, and another. I continued making my quiet steps down the hallway. I passed the bathroom on the right, a bedroom on the left and suddenly there was a creak in the floor board. I stopped quickly, waited, and listened. I sensed no other disruption within the house. I noted the position of the creaky board so as to not step there again on my return. I continued and shortly approached the end of the hallway. There were two bedrooms at the end of the hall. The one on the right would be Ann’s bedroom. I stopped for a moment and listened. I could her heavy breathing indicating sleep. I leaned my head forward and eyed into her bedroom. I could barely see her amidst the sheets and blankets but I could tell that her face was turned in my direction. I smiled. All she had to do was open her eyes and she would have seen me. My smile grew larger.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Breaking and Entering (excerpt 1)
I was sixteen years old when I broke into my first house. I don’t know where the desire came from. I come from a good home, loving parents, a good neighborhood but for some reason I was driven to break into a house. It wasn’t even about what I could possibly steal. It was the thrill of being in a house, when someone was home.
It was a small ranch just a few houses down from my own home. The woman, Ann, who lived there was a 74 year old widow. I know, I know, what a coward for breaking into an old lady’s house. Well, because I had so little experience in breaking and entering I thought it would be best to start out on an easier target. Call me a jerk, I guess.
I waited until 2 A.M. I was still dressed in the clothes that I had worn to school that day. I wore skinny jeans and a black Led Zeppelin t-shirt. I had six or so wrist bands on my right arm: various strings ranging in colors, black leather with metal knobs, and various colored stretchy bands. My jet black hair was neatly spiked into a short Mohawk. I slipped on my black etnies shoes, slide open my bedroom window, swung my legs out the window, and hopped out. Getting out was the easy part, getting back in usually required a boost from a friend but that wouldn’t be happening tonight. I’d figure out a way back in later.
I casually walked down the dimly lit street. There wasn’t a single light on in any of the houses I passed. Not a single car drove by. I was confident not a soul knew where I was or what I was about to do. I turned down the driveway of 16 Birch Street and calmly walked to the back of the house. The property sloped downward so the ranch had a walk out basement. I used to mow the lawn for Ann and knew there was a hidden key in the shed near the gas can. It was pitch dark so I hoped that everything in the shed was still in the same place as when I mowed the lawn for her. I quietly twisted the knob and swung the latch open. I slowly opened the shed door, stepped inside and closed the door behind me. I then crouched down so that I wouldn’t bump into anything. I moved with my hands first and moved left to the front corner of the shed. My hands felt plastic, the gas can! I slide my hand to the shed’s wood frame and…jackpot, the key. I slithered backwards to the door entrance and slipped out. I would be putting the key back later so I left the latch open after I closed the door.
I walked over to the back door, slipped the key into the hole, and quietly turned the knob. I was in, so easy. I pushed the door to close it but left it just slightly ajar. The house was dark and I had to go from my memory on how to get around the house. I walked slowly and allowed my eyes to pick out the faintest shapes within the room. The room was mostly boxes. I made out an old ironing board standing up against the wall. I made my way through the basement being careful not to bump into anything. I stepped gently over to the stairs and took each carpeted stair with care. Once on the landing I turned and looked up and could see the main floor of the house. I continued my ascension. At the top of the stairs the kitchen was straight ahead, to my left was the hallway to the three bedrooms and my right was the living room. I turned right taking each step with care. I stepped over to the couch and slowly, carefully sat down. I stopped, sat for a moment and took in my surroundings.
It was a small ranch just a few houses down from my own home. The woman, Ann, who lived there was a 74 year old widow. I know, I know, what a coward for breaking into an old lady’s house. Well, because I had so little experience in breaking and entering I thought it would be best to start out on an easier target. Call me a jerk, I guess.
I waited until 2 A.M. I was still dressed in the clothes that I had worn to school that day. I wore skinny jeans and a black Led Zeppelin t-shirt. I had six or so wrist bands on my right arm: various strings ranging in colors, black leather with metal knobs, and various colored stretchy bands. My jet black hair was neatly spiked into a short Mohawk. I slipped on my black etnies shoes, slide open my bedroom window, swung my legs out the window, and hopped out. Getting out was the easy part, getting back in usually required a boost from a friend but that wouldn’t be happening tonight. I’d figure out a way back in later.
I casually walked down the dimly lit street. There wasn’t a single light on in any of the houses I passed. Not a single car drove by. I was confident not a soul knew where I was or what I was about to do. I turned down the driveway of 16 Birch Street and calmly walked to the back of the house. The property sloped downward so the ranch had a walk out basement. I used to mow the lawn for Ann and knew there was a hidden key in the shed near the gas can. It was pitch dark so I hoped that everything in the shed was still in the same place as when I mowed the lawn for her. I quietly twisted the knob and swung the latch open. I slowly opened the shed door, stepped inside and closed the door behind me. I then crouched down so that I wouldn’t bump into anything. I moved with my hands first and moved left to the front corner of the shed. My hands felt plastic, the gas can! I slide my hand to the shed’s wood frame and…jackpot, the key. I slithered backwards to the door entrance and slipped out. I would be putting the key back later so I left the latch open after I closed the door.
I walked over to the back door, slipped the key into the hole, and quietly turned the knob. I was in, so easy. I pushed the door to close it but left it just slightly ajar. The house was dark and I had to go from my memory on how to get around the house. I walked slowly and allowed my eyes to pick out the faintest shapes within the room. The room was mostly boxes. I made out an old ironing board standing up against the wall. I made my way through the basement being careful not to bump into anything. I stepped gently over to the stairs and took each carpeted stair with care. Once on the landing I turned and looked up and could see the main floor of the house. I continued my ascension. At the top of the stairs the kitchen was straight ahead, to my left was the hallway to the three bedrooms and my right was the living room. I turned right taking each step with care. I stepped over to the couch and slowly, carefully sat down. I stopped, sat for a moment and took in my surroundings.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
An excerpt from Modern Genocide
The Second Civil War of the United States had just ended. As one might imagine tensions were still extremely high. The country was divided in two and the line was not easy to draw. The now separate countries would be called East and West America. The West was dramatically larger than the East. The line separated Georgia from Alabama, Tennessee from Arkansas, followed the Mississippi river and ultimately divided Minnesota to the West and Wisconsin to the East. The East would have control over the Great Lakes and the East Coast. The West would have the West Coast, the Mississippi River, and the Gulf of Mexico. The last remaining piece, Florida, was still under harsh debate, both sides wanting to have complete control over their coast line.
Texas had long been seceded from the U.S. before the Second Civil War broke out. Texas supported the West mostly due to its proximity and not necessarily due to Western viewpoints. Texas merely didn’t want to form enemies with neighboring states. Since its departure from the U.S., Texas had grown to be a military powerhouse. Never large enough to challenge the United States by itself, Texas quickly took the opportunity to form allies with the West and fight against the “Old U.S.” as the West called them. In the end, Texas power was what ultimately caused the East to stand down.
Due to their locations, Hawaii and Alaska became part of the West. Puerto Rico, which had become a state after Texas seceded, would also become part of the West, despite its extremely vulnerable location in the East.
Families were divided, some favoring the “Old U.S.” mentality, a complacent viewpoint of the nation’s position in the world, held by the East and the belief of Westerners that drastic change was necessary to become a dominating influential country within the world. The majority of Montana residents favored Eastern view points but were unfortunately completely surrounded by Western states and in no way would be able to survive within the West; without fight many Montana residents fled to the East. Proud Western citizens gladly commandeered the land of Montana. A number of California residents were forced to leave, unwilling to speak the officially Western language, Spanish. Of course there were many people living within either side that did not share the same viewpoint of their newly formed country. They either moved or kept their mouth shut.
After the lines had been drawn and migrations had commenced the ultimate decision came through to the West’s dismay, the East would take hold of Florida. Outrage poured over the West. They had won the war but now lost the crucial piece to their coast line. Some residents were even angrier now than before the war began. They gathered up their arms and were prepared to travel to the panhandle to take Florida as the entrance way to the West. However, despite the anger not much could be done at that point. Under orders of the newly established government the military would not attack and Western rebels alone would not be enough to take Florida. The residents would have to sit back and take the bitter loss of Florida. Even though the war was over, the West would not rest until Florida was theirs.
Texas had long been seceded from the U.S. before the Second Civil War broke out. Texas supported the West mostly due to its proximity and not necessarily due to Western viewpoints. Texas merely didn’t want to form enemies with neighboring states. Since its departure from the U.S., Texas had grown to be a military powerhouse. Never large enough to challenge the United States by itself, Texas quickly took the opportunity to form allies with the West and fight against the “Old U.S.” as the West called them. In the end, Texas power was what ultimately caused the East to stand down.
Due to their locations, Hawaii and Alaska became part of the West. Puerto Rico, which had become a state after Texas seceded, would also become part of the West, despite its extremely vulnerable location in the East.
Families were divided, some favoring the “Old U.S.” mentality, a complacent viewpoint of the nation’s position in the world, held by the East and the belief of Westerners that drastic change was necessary to become a dominating influential country within the world. The majority of Montana residents favored Eastern view points but were unfortunately completely surrounded by Western states and in no way would be able to survive within the West; without fight many Montana residents fled to the East. Proud Western citizens gladly commandeered the land of Montana. A number of California residents were forced to leave, unwilling to speak the officially Western language, Spanish. Of course there were many people living within either side that did not share the same viewpoint of their newly formed country. They either moved or kept their mouth shut.
After the lines had been drawn and migrations had commenced the ultimate decision came through to the West’s dismay, the East would take hold of Florida. Outrage poured over the West. They had won the war but now lost the crucial piece to their coast line. Some residents were even angrier now than before the war began. They gathered up their arms and were prepared to travel to the panhandle to take Florida as the entrance way to the West. However, despite the anger not much could be done at that point. Under orders of the newly established government the military would not attack and Western rebels alone would not be enough to take Florida. The residents would have to sit back and take the bitter loss of Florida. Even though the war was over, the West would not rest until Florida was theirs.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
The Best Day of the Year
The best day of the year is not the last day of school; it’s the first day of summer.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Anthony the Ant Becomes Human (except 3)
“Come here children. I want to show you something,” Kathryn said.
They all followed her to the top of the ant hill. Ants were hustling past them in and out of the opening. The children were mesmerized by the speed of the other ants.
Kathryn began to speak, “Each and every one of these ants has a job to do for the colony. There are forgers, soldiers, caretakers, diggers, and cleaners. Without any one job our colony could not exist. Each and every one of you will have a job and it’s your responsibility to do your job well for the sake of the colony.”
Butch said, “What will our jobs be?”
She replied, “That is up for the magistrate to decide.”
There were whispers among the children about what their jobs would be. Butch wanted to be a soldier and Zeke wanted to be a forger. Becca and Kelsey wanted to be in the nursery.
Kathryn said, “Now, there are a few more things you need to learn before you get jobs. I want everyone to look far out across the grass. What do you see?”
Becca spoke softly, “It’s another ant hill.”
Zeke butted in abruptly, “Sweet! Let’s go!”
Kathryn stopped him, “Hold on there Zeke. That is one place we should never go. That is a rival colony of over one million ants. If anyone from our colony goes there they will be attacked and killed. Our colony would be in jeopardy of collapse because they could then follow the scent back here and try to take over our ant hill.”
“Why would they want to do that?” Kelsey asked.
Kathryn continued, “Well, that is a colony of many queens. Our queen was once one of them before she escaped with her Serv-Ants.”
“Why did she leave?” asked Anthony.
“She was the fifth queen and wasn’t taken seriously. She was given less Serv-Ants, a small nesting area and fewer food rations. She protested many times but the other queens wouldn’t adhere to her requests. So late one evening she had her Serv-Ants carry the eggs she had just laid and they flew to this location just out of sight and scent range from her old colony.
“They flew here?” Kelsey questioned.
“Yes. Queens and Serv-Ants have wings at first but once they land they shed their wings. You’ll be able to recognize Serv-Ants by their distinct stubs on their bodies from the wings. Only male ants with wings can become the queen’s Serv-Ant.”
All the children looked over at Butch. No one had really noticed before but Butch had something unusual about him.
“Butch, you have wings!” Anthony exclaimed.
Flabbergasted and shocked Butch responded, “What? ... I do?” He tried to turn his head but couldn’t quite see. He tried to spin around but his whole body spun with his head. He ended up spinning in circle before realizing he wouldn’t be able to see them. All the children were laughing at the sight of Butch spinning in circles.
“Butch, you’ve got to feel your wings,” Kathryn said.
A little flutter came from the wings on Butch’s back. “Wow! I can’t believe it. I’ve got wings. Whaowho!” He began to jump around.
“Careful Butch, if you use your wings they will fall off,” Kathryn said.
“What?” Butch was surprised.
“Wings can only be used once.”
Butch seemed disappointed, “Really? Why? When should I use them?”
“The time will come when you will know when to use them. Just know that your job will be very important. You must protect the queen at all costs. Only Serv-Ants ever see the queen. She remains deep inside the colony in a guarded chamber. No one ever goes in and no one ever comes out except for Serv-Ants.” The children were speechless. Kathryn pointed to the other colony. “They would do anything to get revenge for her disloyalty.”
They all followed her to the top of the ant hill. Ants were hustling past them in and out of the opening. The children were mesmerized by the speed of the other ants.
Kathryn began to speak, “Each and every one of these ants has a job to do for the colony. There are forgers, soldiers, caretakers, diggers, and cleaners. Without any one job our colony could not exist. Each and every one of you will have a job and it’s your responsibility to do your job well for the sake of the colony.”
Butch said, “What will our jobs be?”
She replied, “That is up for the magistrate to decide.”
There were whispers among the children about what their jobs would be. Butch wanted to be a soldier and Zeke wanted to be a forger. Becca and Kelsey wanted to be in the nursery.
Kathryn said, “Now, there are a few more things you need to learn before you get jobs. I want everyone to look far out across the grass. What do you see?”
Becca spoke softly, “It’s another ant hill.”
Zeke butted in abruptly, “Sweet! Let’s go!”
Kathryn stopped him, “Hold on there Zeke. That is one place we should never go. That is a rival colony of over one million ants. If anyone from our colony goes there they will be attacked and killed. Our colony would be in jeopardy of collapse because they could then follow the scent back here and try to take over our ant hill.”
“Why would they want to do that?” Kelsey asked.
Kathryn continued, “Well, that is a colony of many queens. Our queen was once one of them before she escaped with her Serv-Ants.”
“Why did she leave?” asked Anthony.
“She was the fifth queen and wasn’t taken seriously. She was given less Serv-Ants, a small nesting area and fewer food rations. She protested many times but the other queens wouldn’t adhere to her requests. So late one evening she had her Serv-Ants carry the eggs she had just laid and they flew to this location just out of sight and scent range from her old colony.
“They flew here?” Kelsey questioned.
“Yes. Queens and Serv-Ants have wings at first but once they land they shed their wings. You’ll be able to recognize Serv-Ants by their distinct stubs on their bodies from the wings. Only male ants with wings can become the queen’s Serv-Ant.”
All the children looked over at Butch. No one had really noticed before but Butch had something unusual about him.
“Butch, you have wings!” Anthony exclaimed.
Flabbergasted and shocked Butch responded, “What? ... I do?” He tried to turn his head but couldn’t quite see. He tried to spin around but his whole body spun with his head. He ended up spinning in circle before realizing he wouldn’t be able to see them. All the children were laughing at the sight of Butch spinning in circles.
“Butch, you’ve got to feel your wings,” Kathryn said.
A little flutter came from the wings on Butch’s back. “Wow! I can’t believe it. I’ve got wings. Whaowho!” He began to jump around.
“Careful Butch, if you use your wings they will fall off,” Kathryn said.
“What?” Butch was surprised.
“Wings can only be used once.”
Butch seemed disappointed, “Really? Why? When should I use them?”
“The time will come when you will know when to use them. Just know that your job will be very important. You must protect the queen at all costs. Only Serv-Ants ever see the queen. She remains deep inside the colony in a guarded chamber. No one ever goes in and no one ever comes out except for Serv-Ants.” The children were speechless. Kathryn pointed to the other colony. “They would do anything to get revenge for her disloyalty.”
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Bill Gates, The Almighty
Why is that when you're in the middle of a huge project and you're pressed for time, the document you're working on is forced to close? Do you think Bill Gates creates these occurences and does it on purpose just to have control over us?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Solving the Hiccup Epidemic – One hiccup at a time
Tilt your head way back and look toward the ceiling or sky. Place your fingertips at the top of your neck. Run your fingertips down your neck excruciatingly slow (for 10-15 seconds). During this process you body may jolt as if a hiccup up were coming. If needed, repeat the process again. Congratulations, you no longer have hiccups. You’re Welcome.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Solving the Hiccup Epidemic
I despise hiccups. So much so that I become increasing angrier the longer they stick around. That is why I developed a fool proof plan for getting rid of them. Now sure we all have our tricks; drinking water upside down, holding our breath, having someone scare us but these tricks may work sometimes and not others. The trick that I came up with works now and always will. This isn’t one of those tricks that work once and then never works again, no; my fool proof plan works every time. Here is what you have to do.
Tune in next week to find out how to solve your hiccups.
Tune in next week to find out how to solve your hiccups.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Acting Profession
Imagine an actor writes a screenplay, casts himself in the show, obtains all props necessary for the show, performs the show five times in one day, critics each performance, and then repeats the entire process the following day with a new show. The audience, however, is actually forced to be there for the entire theatre season and a large majority of them wish that they didn’t have to attend. The audience is required to provide a summary of each performance upon which the actor now critics to insure that the audience members fully understand each performance. Sound like a profession you know? It’s teaching.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Courtroom Teachers
An attorney only working within the courtroom is like a teacher only working within the classroom. Attorneys get paid for everything they do for a client outside the courtroom. Do teachers?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Rehabilitating Students
Teaching a student who doesn’t want to learn is like trying to rehabilitate an alcoholic who refuses to stop drinking.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Trip to the Moon
I sat perched on my black cushion, legs crossed. My wife, Holly, sat next to me on her own cushion. A few other people sat with us on their own cushions. All of our cushions lay on a hardwood floor. We sat in silent meditation.
Pierce asked us to think about traveling to the moon together. Once at the moon we realize that our transportation back to Earth doesn’t exist. Pierce asked, “What will you miss?” and he left us to ponder for a few moments.
The first thought that came to mind was nothing. I made the quick assumption that since Holly was sitting next to me that she too would be trapped on the moon with me.
I was satisfied with my answer but I continued to think about being trapped. I thought about my parents and brother. I simply wanted to tell them that I loved them and I wanted them to take good care of my fish and tortoise.
After thinking for a few more minutes I came up with one material possession that I would miss, my laptop computer. The only reason why I missed it was because of all of the stories and ideas I had ingrained into the hard drive. In my mind I asked my parents to try and get my works published. I didn’t miss anything else. What would it matter if I had material processions back on earth, I was never going to make it back there anyway.
After we all pondered for awhile, Pierce added to our visualization that now we had figured out a way to get back home. He asked the question, “How do you feel about planet earth now?”
I thought about how I should live my life like it’s my last day on earth. I shouldn’t be afraid to take risks. I shouldn’t have any regrets and I was reminded that a friend of mine once said, “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” when asked about having any regrets.
It felt wonderful to be reminded again about what is important in life and how to live life in the moment.
Pierce asked us to think about traveling to the moon together. Once at the moon we realize that our transportation back to Earth doesn’t exist. Pierce asked, “What will you miss?” and he left us to ponder for a few moments.
The first thought that came to mind was nothing. I made the quick assumption that since Holly was sitting next to me that she too would be trapped on the moon with me.
I was satisfied with my answer but I continued to think about being trapped. I thought about my parents and brother. I simply wanted to tell them that I loved them and I wanted them to take good care of my fish and tortoise.
After thinking for a few more minutes I came up with one material possession that I would miss, my laptop computer. The only reason why I missed it was because of all of the stories and ideas I had ingrained into the hard drive. In my mind I asked my parents to try and get my works published. I didn’t miss anything else. What would it matter if I had material processions back on earth, I was never going to make it back there anyway.
After we all pondered for awhile, Pierce added to our visualization that now we had figured out a way to get back home. He asked the question, “How do you feel about planet earth now?”
I thought about how I should live my life like it’s my last day on earth. I shouldn’t be afraid to take risks. I shouldn’t have any regrets and I was reminded that a friend of mine once said, “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” when asked about having any regrets.
It felt wonderful to be reminded again about what is important in life and how to live life in the moment.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Salted Love
How many of us have ever liked someone? I mean really liked someone. I think it is pretty safe to say that most of us have liked someone at some point in our lives. Well, this story is about two teenagers who really like each other and their names are Sodium and Chlorine. For those of you who haven’t heard these names before Sodium is a boy and Chlorine is a girl. Sodium and Chlorine are in high school and they’re both on the swim team. Sodium and Chlorine are both extremely passionate about swimming. The two of them are constantly at the pool working on improving their skills. The two of them are so dedicated that both have become key members of swim team. Sodium is the star freestyle swimmer and Chlorine is the star diver.
Sodium and Chlorine really like each other but… well like any relationship there obstacles to overcome. Think about it, was there ever a little something about a person that you liked that bothered you? Maybe the person has a weird laugh or they never let you finish a sentence. I’m sure that’s true for most of us. You see, Sodium has this little, tiny problem with Chlorine. Now think about it, where is Chlorine used? We all know that chlorine is commonly used in swimming pools. Well, anytime Chlorine gets to close to anyone she tends to kill them with her poisonous gas…a minor problem for Sodium. Needless to say Sodium is a little nervous about getting too close to Chlorine.
Chlorine on the other hand, is a little nervous about Sodium. What do we know about Sodium? Sodium is a metal that reacts violently with water, so anytime he gets into the pool he burns everything around him. Let’s just say whenever he’s competing against someone from another team, he always burns the competition. Well the two of them decide that they really, really like each other so much that they are going to try and put aside their differences.
Of course no relationship comes without its share of ups and downs. Typically after practice Sodium would walk Chlorine home. They walked hand in hand all the way to Chlorine’s house. Walking home, Sodium was so choked up he could barely breath. Only after Chlorine entered her house would Sodium suddenly feel better. Sodium thought it was because he really liked her. He didn’t realize that he was getting choked up because of her poisonous gases.
Then came the day of their first kiss, which was unlike any other first kiss. One day after walking Chlorine to her house, despite being choked up, Sodium leaned in for a kiss. The moisture on Chlorine’s lips caused Sodium to react and Chlorine felt a sharp burning sensation on her lips. Chlorine slapped him and stormed off.
The next day at practice Sodium apologized profusely to Chlorine. He said that he hadn’t intended to hurt her. Chlorine knew that he didn’t mean it and she quickly forgave him. She learned to keep her lips dry so she wouldn’t get burned so easily.
In college their relationship had begun to affect others. There was one time when Chlorine and Sodium had an argument over the phone. Sodium was stressed out so he decided to go for a swim to try and relieve some of the tension. There were a few people in the pool and one girl was sitting on the side of the pool. Sodium dove into the pool hastily and began swimming. The water splashed and bubbled and when Sodium came up for air he caught a glimpse of the other people jumping out of the pool. He stopped to get a better look as to what was going on. They all had burn marks on their bodies and were glaring at Sodium. Sodium had completely forgotten about the fact that he burns people every time he gets in the pool. Sodium apologized profusely but they all stormed off. He felt bad but at least now he had the pool to himself.
On that very same day when Chlorine got off the phone with Sodium she went headed down to the pool to practice some of her dives. After diving for a few hours the other people began to complain about their eyes, nose and throat burning. Chlorine knew, unfortunately, at that point that it was time to go before she killed someone. Sodium and Chlorine worked through their differences throughout college and once college was over they decide that it was time for them to get married.
There they are on their wedding day. Chlorine is dressed in a beautiful white gown and Sodium is decked out in his tuxedo. Sodium is standing up at the alter as Chlorine walks down the aisle. When the time is right Sodium gives a ring or what he calls an electron to Chlorine. From that very moment they are bonded through holy matrimony. What ends up happening when they bond is they become something completely different. Sodium no longer burns anything when he goes swimming and Chlorine no longer kills people with her poisonous gas. They put aside their differences and become something brand new and much less harmful. That’s right when Sodium and Chlorine bond they become, Salt. How many of us have ever eaten salt? I’m sure once again that all of us have. Was anyone every killed by poisonous gases while eating salt? No, of course not. Has salt ever literally burned your mouth? I think not. So because these two bonded they now have a new set of characteristics and the original characteristics no longer exist. The Salt couple lived happily ever after.
Sodium and Chlorine really like each other but… well like any relationship there obstacles to overcome. Think about it, was there ever a little something about a person that you liked that bothered you? Maybe the person has a weird laugh or they never let you finish a sentence. I’m sure that’s true for most of us. You see, Sodium has this little, tiny problem with Chlorine. Now think about it, where is Chlorine used? We all know that chlorine is commonly used in swimming pools. Well, anytime Chlorine gets to close to anyone she tends to kill them with her poisonous gas…a minor problem for Sodium. Needless to say Sodium is a little nervous about getting too close to Chlorine.
Chlorine on the other hand, is a little nervous about Sodium. What do we know about Sodium? Sodium is a metal that reacts violently with water, so anytime he gets into the pool he burns everything around him. Let’s just say whenever he’s competing against someone from another team, he always burns the competition. Well the two of them decide that they really, really like each other so much that they are going to try and put aside their differences.
Of course no relationship comes without its share of ups and downs. Typically after practice Sodium would walk Chlorine home. They walked hand in hand all the way to Chlorine’s house. Walking home, Sodium was so choked up he could barely breath. Only after Chlorine entered her house would Sodium suddenly feel better. Sodium thought it was because he really liked her. He didn’t realize that he was getting choked up because of her poisonous gases.
Then came the day of their first kiss, which was unlike any other first kiss. One day after walking Chlorine to her house, despite being choked up, Sodium leaned in for a kiss. The moisture on Chlorine’s lips caused Sodium to react and Chlorine felt a sharp burning sensation on her lips. Chlorine slapped him and stormed off.
The next day at practice Sodium apologized profusely to Chlorine. He said that he hadn’t intended to hurt her. Chlorine knew that he didn’t mean it and she quickly forgave him. She learned to keep her lips dry so she wouldn’t get burned so easily.
In college their relationship had begun to affect others. There was one time when Chlorine and Sodium had an argument over the phone. Sodium was stressed out so he decided to go for a swim to try and relieve some of the tension. There were a few people in the pool and one girl was sitting on the side of the pool. Sodium dove into the pool hastily and began swimming. The water splashed and bubbled and when Sodium came up for air he caught a glimpse of the other people jumping out of the pool. He stopped to get a better look as to what was going on. They all had burn marks on their bodies and were glaring at Sodium. Sodium had completely forgotten about the fact that he burns people every time he gets in the pool. Sodium apologized profusely but they all stormed off. He felt bad but at least now he had the pool to himself.
On that very same day when Chlorine got off the phone with Sodium she went headed down to the pool to practice some of her dives. After diving for a few hours the other people began to complain about their eyes, nose and throat burning. Chlorine knew, unfortunately, at that point that it was time to go before she killed someone. Sodium and Chlorine worked through their differences throughout college and once college was over they decide that it was time for them to get married.
There they are on their wedding day. Chlorine is dressed in a beautiful white gown and Sodium is decked out in his tuxedo. Sodium is standing up at the alter as Chlorine walks down the aisle. When the time is right Sodium gives a ring or what he calls an electron to Chlorine. From that very moment they are bonded through holy matrimony. What ends up happening when they bond is they become something completely different. Sodium no longer burns anything when he goes swimming and Chlorine no longer kills people with her poisonous gas. They put aside their differences and become something brand new and much less harmful. That’s right when Sodium and Chlorine bond they become, Salt. How many of us have ever eaten salt? I’m sure once again that all of us have. Was anyone every killed by poisonous gases while eating salt? No, of course not. Has salt ever literally burned your mouth? I think not. So because these two bonded they now have a new set of characteristics and the original characteristics no longer exist. The Salt couple lived happily ever after.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
God Tests Us
Sometimes God throws us a variable that we don’t expect. We begin to question whether or not to go against our established norms. In some cases it is just a test to see if we stay on the same path resisting temptation. In other cases the variable is brought to our attention to lead us in different direction. The battle is deciding what is truly meant for us.
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