Who is God?

Who is God? Maybe a better question is ‘what is God?’ If you’ve never asked yourself a question like one of these it is something you may want to look in to. These aren’t easy question to ask yourself but it is important to see what answers you come up with. It’s quite possible that everyone would have a different answer but there would most likely be some common themes. The better question to ask is ‘who or what is God to you?’

Is God the man behind the clouds that controls all the blissful and horrible occurrences in life? Is he a man that looks down on us and cries when we cause harm toward each other and smiles at us with every polite thing we do for one another. Is God a woman? Or is God not of any gender? Maybe God just is…or isn’t.

There is only one way to find the answers to these questions and that is to listen. You might be surprised at first how the answers don’t come easily. Take a moment to listen for the answers. I mean, right now, actually take a moment and listen for the answers to our questions.

How many of you thought about what you were doing later today, perhaps the laundry list of things that you need to accomplish today? How many of you played out a conversation you had yesterday with a coworker or spouse, how about playing out a conversation that you intend to have? How many of you heard nothing at all?

For a lot of us, God’s voice is clouded by life. We often can’t hear God’s voice because our minds take control. Sometimes our minds have more power than God. To hear God’s voice we must quiet the thoughts from our brain, which may not be an easy task to do.

We have all heard God before, most of us without even realizing. Sometimes it comes as a spark of compassion for someone that we encounter one day. It comes as a difficult decision somehow made easy. God’s voice comes when we least expect it and often when we expect it, it doesn’t come. So how can we hear God’s voice more often or better yet, how can we hear God’s voice all of the time?

God’s voice comes from within each of us. More often than not it is so soft we can barely hear it, except for those times when the voice is loud enough to stop us in our tracks or awake us from a dead sleep. Usually God’s voice is drowned out by our overbearing thoughts of the mind. To hear God we must quiet our minds. The answers to our questions may not come right away. The answers only come when the time is right, only when we are ready for them.

God gives us guidance. The voice tells us how to live our lives in bliss. The root of living a blissful life stems from compassion for others. How many of us saw a parking space and quickly tried to beat another car to the spot? God’s voice was there but not heard. How many of us walked through a doorway without looking to see if anyone was there to hold the door for? God’s voice was there but not heard. How many of us have seen a neighbor struggling to shovel snow but continued to watch television? God’s voice was there but not heard.

God’s voice is there and we need to learn how to listen to it. We must quiet our minds in order to hear. When our minds our quieted important questions can be asked like ‘who or what is God?’ Let us take another moment. We’ll quiet our minds and ask the necessary questions of life. You’ll be surprised when you hear the answers. The answers were there all the time. When you finally hear them you’ll open your eyes…and you’ll be smiling. Go ahead, take a moment to ask those important questions…and really do it this time.

Europe - Interlaken, Switzerland

Once in Speiz, I took a short train ride to Interlaken. From there I had to take a bus to Iserltwald. Both towns were surrounded by lakes and mountains. This was by far the most beautiful place in Europe that I had seen. Then it began to rain.

I throw on my rain jacket and walked around the town for a little while. I saw ferry boats crossing the lake and there was a beautiful mansion on a peninsula. I stopped at a local store for some bread and fruit. I couldn't believe how beautiful this place was. And the rain got worse.

I ate my loaf of bread with honey on the balcony of the hostel where I was staying. It was delicious, homemade bread. I met my roommates and we went to the bar downstairs with some people from across the hall. After a few drinks and conversation I went back upstairs to hit the sack. The thunder cracked and light flashed.

The most beautiful place in Europe blanketed with dark clouds and drenched in rain.

Coal Mine

It's just another day at the coal mine.

Hustle Bustle

I’m finding now that this adult life can be annoying, frustrating and maddening. I keep waiting for life to slow down and just when I think it will, I find that I am in an even higher gear than before. Especially at this time of year, I force myself to stop for a few moments, take a deep breath, and spend time with family.

Home Repair Rehab

Hello, my name is T. Roy and I am addicted to home repairs. I started doing home repairs about a year ago. It was my fiancée, now wife, which got me started. We bought a house and a first I wanted nothing to do with home repairs. My wife became pushy. Do this home repair; do that home repair. I didn’t know a lot about home repairs at first. It was her father that showed me the way. Her father and I installed new ceiling drywall, refinished floors, and moved a wall. My head was spinning and I felt sick to my stomach. They both pushed me to do more even though I knew I was in over my head. I couldn’t handle the fast pace of home repair life and I told my wife. Many an argument ensued. Against my best efforts, the home repairs continued. Sanding, painting, and ceiling fans, my health spiraled downward.

Finally, when it was all over, I was mad and sick of all the home repairs that I had done. Then something against all my imagination happened. I missed the home repairs. I didn’t know what to do without the home repairs. I started secretively working on home repairs behind my wife’s back. I sanded and painted the walls and replaced the fixtures in the bathroom. I was spending an exorbitant amount of money. I kept going. I went on to bigger and better home repairs. I built an entire shed by myself. A year earlier I could barely hang a shelf. I was using a nail gun and a table saw like they were kitchen utensils.

It wasn’t until I was finished with the shed before I realized I had a problem. I couldn’t stop building. Now, that I realize that I have an addiction, I need to find something else to do with my time and money. I owe my home repair dealer, Home Depot, a lot of money. It’s going to take me a lot of time before I can pay them off. I’d say the hardest part for me about a home repair addiction is Saturday morning. I used to get up early and work on a project, sometimes two or three, that I had going on. By five o’clock I would collapse from exhaustion. I think back to the good time before home repairs. I would go for a hike, kayak, or go for a run. I have to make these things my top priority now. It’s going to be an adjustment but I’m looking forward to living my life again.

Backside

Being a teacher I hear a lot of excuses for not completing homework. Students often forget to turn the paper over to see that the assignment is continued on the other side of the paper. When checking homework, I approach each student and ask to see their homework. Commonly, I then turn the paper over to see an unfinished assignment.

Shock rolls over the students face, “There’s a back side!?”

I respond with, “Yep.”

“I didn’t realize there was a back side.”

My response is always, “Every piece of paper has a back side. It just matters if it has words on it.”

Then the student gets half credit for the assignment.

Symbol Lost, Love Not

It didn’t take my fiancé and I more than 20 minutes to choose the wedding rings we would wear for the rest of our lives. It also didn’t take me more than four months to lose the symbolic promise of our marriage.

On July, 10, 2010, I pledged my promise to Holly and we sealed our marriage with the exchange of rings and of course a kiss. Less than four months later while at a Halloween party on October 30th, I happened to glance at my finger and suddenly realized the ring to symbolize my love for my wife was missing. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. A million thoughts ran through my head…When did I last have the ring? How long has the ring been missing? How could I have not realized it was missing? Where could it be? And the most important question, how am I going to tell my wife?

The sick feeling in my stomach began to build rapidly. I knew my wife would understand but I also didn’t want to disappoint her. I quickly found her in mid-conversion with someone. I immediately interrupted them and quietly told her what I had just realized. She said exactly what I needed to hear. “We’ll find it. And even though the ring is lost it doesn’t change our love for each other. Nothing will ever change that.”

We carried on the rest of the evening as best we could. We couldn’t help but think of the many places that it could have been. I had gone to my parent’s house, Holly’s parents and I even went to her brother-in-laws house. The scariest thought of all was that we had spent a good portion of the day clearing leaves from our yard and put them into a trailer that was four feet wide, eight feet long and two feet deep. We had completely filled the trailer. Could it be amidst the thousands upon thousands of fallen leaves? I dared not to think of it.

My wife and I woke up the next day and made a few phone calls to our family members to see if we could track down the ring. Holly’s brother-in-law said he had seen me wearing the ring; Holly’s mom searched her house only to find nothing and my parents were on the hunt. After an hour or two of waddling we decided it was time to go through the trailer leaf by leaf to see if we could find the ring.

I flipped open the top to the trailer. All of yesterday’s hours of hard work had to be undone in hopes of finding the ring. It was the last thing either of us wanted to do on a Sunday, but it was the last ditch effort before coming to grips that the ring was truly lost and gone forever. As we took handfuls of leaves out of the trailer we kept our eyes open for a shiny glimmering object in the pile of brown, yellow and red colors. I kept thinking, “What am I going to do if we don’t find it?” The ring wasn’t some new t-shirt with a stain on it that could have been easily replaced. It symbolized our love and was engraved with “H & T 7-10-10.” The thought of the ring being gone forever made my head spin.

My wife and I knew that we could spend hours taking the leaves out of the trailer to not discover the ring, but we had to give it a try. Holly started taking leaves out from the rear of the trailer, but soon she moved to the front end of the trailer. She said something urged her to move to the front of the trailer. We carefully filled a barrel of leaves and then dumped it on the ground. The wind whipped and began to spread color all over our green lawn once again. We continued to fill the barrel until it was full a second time. Our spirits were low. I said, “You know, this could be one of those situations where we spend days looking for it only to give up and then by chance find it years later.”

Just as I finished saying that I turned and looked into the trailer and let out a big gasp. I quickly reached into the trailer and yelled, “I found it!” I was in shock. I didn’t think we’d be able to find this one tiny object among the mounds and mounds of leaves. Not only could I not believe that we had found it but I also couldn’t believe that we only went through two barrels of leaves to find it. The sense of relief rushed over me. I felt like all was well again with the world. I told Holly to hold on to the ring because I didn’t trust myself to even hold it let alone put it back on my finger. Soon the ring will be resized and all will be well. A tremendous weight has been lifted.

Derailing Trains

I stood there steadfast and true on the railroad tracks of life. We met face to face two trains about to collide. She could have mowed, plowed or ran me over but I didn’t care. It didn’t matter, I had nothing to lose. I stood there with determination. Her train was barreling through life. She was never prepared for what lay ahead. When we meet this time she derailed instantly. She had no idea how to pick up the pieces let alone put them together. At that point I realized I was no longer a mere mortal. I had stopped a train. I felt alive for the first time in my life.

“Do you hate me?” She staggered and stammered through the conversation.

I had been grinning since our eyes meet, “No.”

She made excuses for her actions, things that should have been left unsaid. The excuses didn’t matter to me, the past didn’t matter. I hoped for a better future but her body language told me there was someone else. Her conversation stumbled. She couldn’t look at me for very long before looking away. I stood there relaxed yet poised, ever smiling. She knew how I felt and I could now know how she felt. I hadn’t known before this moment. It had previously been left unfinished. I needed closure. I needed to know for sure that there was nothing else I could do. I had made it very clear how I felt.

“I’m surprised you’re here.”

“I wanted to come.”

She directed the conversation. I felt no responsibility in that. I was holding out my heart and she knew that. The words that I spoke meant nothing. I was speaking a different language. I was hoping that she would respond in kind but didn’t.

“Who are you here with?”

“Some friends,” I described their relationships to me. Who I was with didn’t matter. Would she join us later that evening? That is what I wanted to know.

“Are you going to be here for awhile?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll stop by your table in a little while.”

The ball was in her court and it was her choice if she wanted to hit it back. I was proud of myself as I turned and walked away. The stone had been scribed. The connection that was there the last time we meet wasn’t there. She struggled to make the connection and fell short. My bridge had crossed the river and she failed to even swim half way. She was scrambling to try and cross the bridge but the road blocks had been already put into place. Before she knew it the river had gotten wider and the bridge that I had built no longer reached the other side. Her bridge was destroyed before it was ever created. She looked across the river wondering if she had made a mistake. The thought quickly passed. On with her life she went and never thought twice.

November Photo - Walk the Plank

Walk the Plank

November Photo - New Zealand Sunrise

New Zealand Sunrise

November Photo - Canopy

Canopy

Election Day

Voting for a politician is like choosing between two devils, you are just not quite sure which is slightly less evil.

The Toothpaste Theory

Ahhh, a brand new tube of toothpaste. There is so much toothpaste in the tube, plenty of toothpaste to go around. You apply a generous application of toothpaste to your toothbrush without a care in the world. For months you enjoy generous helpings of toothpaste but after some time goes by, the amount of toothpaste in the tube begins to dwindle. The tube becomes harder and harder to squeeze. Your toothbrush gets less and less toothpaste each time you brush. Then the day comes when you squeeze so hard that your fingers hurt just to get a dribble smear onto the toothbrush before your throw the tube away.

Fossil fuels are a tube of toothpaste. At first large quantities of oil were found but as time goes by we are finding less and less oil. Pretty soon we’ll be squeezing the end of the tube hoping to get just a little bit more before the tube is empty. The fossil fuel tube is going to hurt more than just our fingers. It’s time for us to start thinking about switching to a different brand of toothpaste, one with a much larger tube.

Being a Teacher

Being a teacher is like being a waiter at a restaurant where the customers keep coming back for forty-five minutes every week day even though they hate the food and the service. Finally, after about nine months of complaining they stop coming to the restaurant. After a couple of months the customers come back to the restaurant and they get a new waiter. In the meantime, the original waiter gets a whole new set of customers who also hate the food and the service and the entire process continues on for many years.

Anthony the Ant Becomes Human (except 2)

Anthony and the other ants marched their way back to the pantry. Anthony couldn’t help but have an eerie feeling. He didn’t realize until now how dangerous it was stealing from the humans. When Anthony got to the pantry he became extremely nervous. He felt like at any moment the door would fly open and he would be the next to be squashed.

The box that they had been taking food from was gone. The recon team had tapped into another box and the ants started taking food from there.

There was also this black disk structure with a dome over it. Anthony saw a couple of ants go inside and when they came out they whispered, “Hey. There’s food in here.”

One of the members of the recon team came down from his post to check the quality of the food. Before the recon team member got there a few more ants went inside the dome. When the recon member saw that the ants had chunks of blue material his eyes got wide.

“Drop the food,” he said firmly. The ants that had gone inside looked at each other in amazement. The recon member went on, “Drop the food. Do it now. It’s poison!”

The ants quickly dropped the blue substance and they all got extremely scared.

“Oh my gosh,” one ant said.
“What’s going to happen,” another ant questioned.
“Are we going to die,” one ant said as he began to panic.

The recon member motioned to the rest of the recon team to come down. In the mean time he pointed at the rest of the ants. “You ants, outta here,” and he pointed to the crack in the wall.

Anthony and the other ants left and waited on the other side of the wall. One recon member came and guarded the entrance so no other ants could get in or out. Anthony wondered what was going on inside the pantry. Were those ants going to die? After a few minutes of waiting the recon guard told the ants what was going on.

“Alright everyone, listen up. The ants were taken to a quarantined area. It will be a little while before we know their prognosis. The area is now safe to return to. Be advised: Stay far away from black domes and blue food. It typically means poison.”

The ants were allowed back in but tensions were high. This was two days in a row with casualties and injuries. Anthony was truly getting terrified now.

Jose and Amanda's Wedding

Jose and Amanda were married on June 20th and by June 21st they were already in the process of getting a divorce. Jose was caught with a half naked waitress in a janitor’s closet at the wedding reception before the sun even went down. Amanda had always thought that Jose’s flirting with other women was harmless. Come to find out it wasn’t and Jose was marring her simply because he thought with her he could get away with the infidelity. Apparently in previous relationships he wasn’t that good at being discrete.

Needless to say Amanda was a bit naive. Jose’s late nights with the guys really weren’t with the guys. Jose was with a variety of women while he was with Amanda. There was Rebecca who was a nurse for his grandmother when she was on her death bed. Cindy was a woman he meet while servicing her internet. Jose is a technician for Comcast. Bethany was Jose’s massage therapist. Emily was a bartender just a half mile from where Jose and Amanda lived.

Jose had a fearless attitude toward cheating. He really felt no guilt at all. To him it was a challenge. He thrived off of it. The day after the wedding Amanda, her family and close friends were throwing everything of Jose’s out into the street from the second floor apartment that was once theirs. Jose stood out on the street next to his 2004 Honda Accord. Jose had a zero expression on his face as his stuff flew down from the balcony. Jose would casually pick up the various personal items that had been strewn about the lawn. He was careful to look out for things coming from the balcony so he wouldn’t get hit. At one point while placing his items in the trunk of his car, his fifty inch plasma television flew out and smashed onto the ground. There was a small flinch and slight ‘oh’ face when it hit the ground. That was about the only tidbit of regret he felt.

Amanda came out to the balcony every once in awhile to scream, “Asshole,” or “Bastard!” Jose never responded.

After an hour or so the personal items stopped coming and Jose felt it was about time to be on his way. There was a woman he met at the supermarket when she was buying prime rib for her husband birthday. April and Jose had plans to meet later that evening.

The worst part of all this wasn’t Jose’s infidelity; it was that Jose was killing probably hundreds of people by this point. You see, Jose was HIV positive. He had contracted the virus about a year and a half ago. He had slept with dozens of women since then and those women had slept with other people afterwards. It was a horrible vicious domino effect that was bound to go on for some time before anyone would find out. If only Jose knew what how much physical and emotional pain he would be causing to all those people. If he knew he would definitely stop these horrible acts and finally show emotion for the pain and suffering that he caused. The shear magnitude he would never realize, only fathom. If only he would realize before it gets any worse.

October Photo - Sideline

Sideline

October Photo - Fallen Soliders

Fallen Soliders

October Photo - Mural

Mural

Derek's Lincoln Logs

The first thing everyone notices about Derek is his large smile, a smile so big that it makes his eyes squint. There is a gap in his front baby teeth that remind you of every 1st grader who ever lost a front tooth. Nothing makes Derek happier than building with his Lincoln Logs. Watching him build a house out of the logs with his prize winning smile, as it stretches from ear to ear would cause anyone to smile.

He carefully stacks the logs on top of one another slowly creating a house with windows, doors, a garage, and a roof. He even goes as far as putting matchbox cars inside the garage and trees in the yard. Derek will dump out the entire Lincoln Logs container just to find the right size log for his masterpiece. Derek is definitely short for his age which can plainly be seen when he stands up next to the large cylinder container in which the Lincoln logs came from. The container is half his height. His brown hair is so perfectly combed to one side resembling the classic little boy haircut with ears jutting out to each side. He wears a Yankees Derek Jeter shirt with grey shorts and dirty red Crocs that look like they have walked several thousand miles. Each Croc has 3 Jibbitz representing a race car, school bus and of course the Yankees emblem.

Derek’s uniqueness shines through his glistening big brown eyes. What Derek lacks in size he makes up in heart. He can give you a hug that only a 6 foot man could give. Whenever I see him no matter what he is doing or where he is, he will freeze and race up to me and give me this overpowering bear hug. That’s right; he’ll even stop building with his logs for a few moments just to give me a hug. He is such a kind, gentle and mature soul at just the young age of six.

The Adult Trap

You know you’re an adult when you ask for a wheel barrel for your birthday and for Christmas, a six foot ladder. I can remember the days of buying a 12 pack and being perfectly content on a Saturday. Now, I’m going to the store to buy an extension cord so I can trim the hedges. I recall the days of going out to the bar at 10 P.M. and getting to be bed sometime after 2 A.M. Now, I am in bed by 10 P.M. and up at 6 A.M. ready to mow the lawn and organize the basement. To top it all off I’m not even 30.

I see adolescents wishing they could at least be a little older than they are – but not quite as old as I am. And by golly gee, if I could somehow convince them to stop, to take every moment in and not have responsibilities, I would. But I guess it is just that natural tendency for adolescents to push to get older, push for freedom. But I’ll tell you I have never been freer than when I was a kid.

We get tricked into adulthood. Somewhere along our way from adolescence we go from wanting an electric guitar to adulthood when we now somehow want a snow blower. And we hope that this snow blower will make our lives easier but somehow the damn thing always breaks and makes more work for us.

And even though this sudden realization that adult life has arrived can be a little bit of a downer, it is still calming to know that I am thankful for all the years that I have lived and enjoyed. And even though the dizzying blurred whirlwind of my twenties is rapidly dwindling, I have learned now more than ever to pause whenever possible to soak up the wonderful experiences throughout my life and hold them for times when the maddening adulthood side of life like the work week takes hold. I keep in the back of my mind that life is a mixture of joy and pain. We can even go as far as saying that life can’t have joy without pain. And if that’s the case, bring on the pain. I will grin and bear it until the tables turn to bliss.

Life is a journey. Each step is uncharted territory and I am going to enjoy each step as it comes.

Eliot (Ellie) the Russian Tortoise gets Parasites

(Written from my wife's point of view)

You would think that it would be easy having a Russian tortoise as a pet. Sure it has been easy for my husband and I over the past six years that we have had our tortoise. Our tortoise, Eliot is confined to a large Rubbermaid container, approximately four feet long, two feet wide, and two feet tall, with four inches of dirt and wood chips. The container is right in front of a window, providing some natural light and ultra-violet radiation. The container rests on top of a stand that my husband made.

We have a 100 watt heat lamp which also provides the ultra-violet radiation that Eliot needs to stay health and strong. We also have a small 15 watt bulb on the other side of the container to provide a little extra light but also provide a cool area to escape the heat.

Eliot has a home which consists of a hollowed out log that is cut in half. I know that sounds complicated to make but it was easy to buy at the store. There is also a food dish and a water dish inside the Rubbermaid container. The water dish isn’t really for drinking, it’s more for soaking. Tortoises obtain the water they need by absorbing it through their skin and in the food they eat. Their diets are simple, broad leaf plants like romaine lettuce and dandelion greens. Occasionally, we sprinkle a little multi-vitamin dust on the food to insure Eliot gets the necessary vitamins.

Every once in awhile, we take Eliot into the backyard where we let him get some exercise by wondering around. We have to be careful that he doesn’t eat the grass because our lawn has fertilizers on it which can harm him. Of course, he is a tortoise and he doesn’t move very fast so my husband always has to make the same lame joke, “We have a Russian tortoise… but he’s not rushin’ anywhere.” The joke is usually accompanied by a big smile a hand jester which consists of a fist swinging across the front of his body. Most people respond by laughing but it’s at his own expense. He still thinks people are laughing at the joke.

This past summer my husband brought Eliot to the vet where he found out two things about Eliot; that Eliot was not a he but a she and that Eliot, now Ellie, has parasites. My husband was more distraught over the fact that his little buddy, his little boy, was now a girl! You would have thought that my husband was the one with the gender confusion. I can recall him calling one his friends and telling the story about how his tortoise is now a girl, and oh, by the way, now has parasites.

Solving the problem of the gender confusion was easy for Ellie. I’m sure she didn’t know the difference. Solving the parasite problem on the other hand took some persuading. Ellie had to receive three shots of medicine orally. Luckily, the first shot was given at the vet, which my husband said took three people, a spatula, and ten minutes to get into Ellie’s mouth.

The second shot was given a week later. My husband and I made an attempt that lasted about an hour before we gave up. My husband then drove forty-five minutes to the vet where it took them, once again, ten minutes to give Ellie the medicine and upon completion he then had to drive forty-five more minutes back home.

A week later my husband was so absolutely determined not to drive an hour and a half for the vet to spend ten minutes giving Ellie the medicine. After an hour of us holding her shell, keeping her legs back, keeping her head from scrunching back into her shell, and wedging a spatula in her tiny mouth, we were able to squirt the tiny bit of medicine in her mouth. Who ever thought that a tiny animal six inches in diameter could be so darn strong and stubborn? Maybe we need to cut back on the ultra-violet radiation.

Ashes

Tail is wagging
Mouth is grinning
Collar is red
Hair is whiter
............Many black spots

Hips are thinning
Trouble walking
Trouble sitting
Can’t get comfy
............She is fourteen

Heart is racing
Breath is heavy
Can't fall asleep
Bones protruding
............She’s not eating

Nose is wetter
Eyes are cloudy
Time is coming
Sooner than late
............Tears fill my eyes

Ashes - Part 2

The call came in
The time had come
Emergency
We’ll wait for you
............Lump in my throat

Tail still wagging
Mouth still grinning
Trouble breathing
Carry her in
............Spirit alive

Tail stops wagging
She is nervous
Wants to get out
She won’t sit down
............Can’t get comfy

Pink injection
She fell asleep
Burst out crying
No more Ashes
............We will miss her

September Photo - I-84

I-84

September Photo - Be Afraid

Be Afraid

September Photo - Ashes

Ashes

Passwords

Does anybody else think that computer passwords have gotten a little out of hand? About a year a go I decided to do all of my banking online. I signed up for online statements with banks, credit cards, student loans and my cell phone. Now, each one of these accounts has a different log-in name and password. I would have loved to use one log-in name and password so it would be easy to remember. That is not the case. Each company had a specific requirement for the log-in name and password and I’m taking about requirements way beyond adding a number at the end or a capital letter in the beginning.

No, some of these companies wanted special characters, while other companies wouldn’t allow them. The number of characters varied as well, some companies required no more than 7, while others required 6-10. Not to mention the companies that require a user to change the password every 30 days, and other companies that require a change every three months. It seems like every time I log on, I have to change the password for some account. At one point in time I counted 16 different companies, 11 different log-in names, and 10 different passwords and the list keeps growing.

Just the other day I was ordering pictures online through Walmart and I had to create a username and password. This very blog requires a username and password. It seems like I can’t do anything online without having to create a log-in name and password.

It got to the point where I would have log-in failures because I couldn’t remember my log-in name or password. How bad is that? I can’t even access my own account. I guess that is just really good security?

Trying to remember passwords and usernames got so bad that a few months ago I created a word document with all the companies, log-in names and passwords just so I wouldn’t have to try and remember it all. Think about it. I couldn’t remember my passwords so I had to put them down in writing. Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of a password? Now, if anyone saw this document with all the company names, passwords and such, they could have the account information of every single account that I have. How scary is that? What good is a password if I can’t even remember it?

Leaving Late at Night

It seems like every time we have people leaving our house after dark they flip the light switch up and down in an attempt to turn on the lights outside. This act actually makes the lights not work because, little do they know, the lights are on a motion sensor. For them I write this:

When leaving late at night
And in need of light
Just walk right out
And you’ll see about

An excerpt from: Anthony The Ant Becomes Human

At 5 A.M. the army horn sounded. Everyone woke and stood at attention except for Anthony. Anthony laid there sleeping while his comrades stood waiting for their orders. Trevor stood next to Anthony and nudged him trying to wake him. Anthony suddenly realized what was going on and he began to stand up. All of the army ants could see what was happening including one of the generals. The general approached Anthony and proceeded to scream at him.

“What is your problem solider?” The general screamed.

Anthony’s head was pounding and he could barely keep his eyes open. Anthony said quietly, “I don’t feel very good.”

“What did you say solider?” the general screamed.

Anthony spoke up, “I don’t feel very good, sir.

“You don’t feel very good?” the general yelled. “You don’t feel very good?” he repeated. “This is war solider. We don’t stop because we don’t feel very good. Report to me after today’s announcement.”

“Yes, sir.” Anthony responded.

The army ants all standing at attention were silent. They didn’t dare say a word or even look in the general’s direction. The commander-in-chief gave his morning speech:
“Attention soldiers. We have 250 troops arriving later today. We will continue to enlarge our base and continue to stock our food supply. Over the next two days we should have an army of 1,000 ants. We will then set up a base inside enemy territory. Once established we will begin our sneak attack on the humans food supply. Soldiers, move out!”

All the ants moved fast. As Trevor was leaving he leaned over to Anthony and said, “Sorry, Ant.” Anthony stood straight ahead and wondered what was in store for him. Once everyone had left the chamber the general approached him.

“Soldier, can you tell me why you don’t feel very good?” the general said with a stern voice.

“Sir, I drank honey last night.” Anthony said sheepishly.

The general became angry, “YOU DID WHAT!? Do you understand that honey is strictly forbidden inside the military?”

“I do now, sir.” said Anthony.

“Where did you get the honey from, soldier?” the general said with a disgusted tone.
Anthony thought for a moment. If he told the general where he got it from then the other ants would get in trouble and he didn’t want that to happen. “Soldier, I asked you a question!” the general shouted.

Anthony came up with a lie, “I found it hidden in the food supply.”

The general didn’t like Anthony’s answer. “Hidden in the food supply? You had better be telling the truth. If I find out you’re lying, you soldier, will be court-martialed.” Anthony trembled at the thought of being court-martialed. That meant he would be kicked out of the army, he would lose his trust with the colony, and have to do the worst job in the entire colony; he would have to remove…ant waste from the toilet chambers.
The general continued, “Now for your punishment. You will be attending boot camp today. I’m sure all the physical activity will make you feel much better. Do you understand, soldier?”

“Yes, sir,” Anthony said quietly.

The general shouted louder than ever, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU, SOLIDER! I SAID, ‘DO YOU UNDERSTAND!’”

Anthony mustered up his strength and yelled as loud as he could, “YES, SIR!”

Oh, Those Many Have To Dos

Oh, those many have to dos make me frown
My Mom drags me all over town
First, for groceries at a supermarket store
And it was already a quarter to four

Then she made me get a haircut
All the way home I continued to moan
I ran to my room to use the phone
Mom said, “Set the table first.” I replied, “But…”

She nodded her head and refused to listen
I now had to wash the table until it would glisten
Finally, to my room I would go
But soon after, the dinner bell would blow

I quickly called Mike
Who had just finished a hike
But before I knew it
It was time to eat
Yuk, we were having a loaf of meat

During dinner all Mom wanted to know
“How was school today?”
And “What did you learn?”
I hoped the conversation would turn
Or I could eat in my room for just one day
Hopefully, the lawn didn’t need a mow

After dinner was what I would dread
Washing dishes and cleaning the table
Tomorrow in class we had to read a fable
Man, I had a scrambled head

Now it was homework time
I was board out of my mind
All these math facts I couldn’t find
Writing poems with words I couldn’t rhyme

Not even a minute break
And it was almost time for bed
Now I had to shower and brush teeth
Tomorrow morning a bed to make
And dishes to wash after I was fed
I want to fly high with the world beneath

Another school day
Thank goodness it was Friday
Oh darn, a writing test
Oh, how I would contest

Another new math fact
I felt like my head was already compact
How I wished for summer to come
When all I have to do is be a bum

Somehow I made it to recess
The end of school was an hour or less
Running, jumping and twirling, oh yes!
Look at that mess
A girl with ketchup on her dress

While counting down until the end of school
A test was passed back with an “A” on top
I was so shocked that my eyes did a pop
I guess I can write with this pencil tool

As I left that day
My teacher just had to say
My hard work will definitely pay
So keep up the good work
I hoped no one would call me a dork

I walked slowly out of the classroom
Just as the girl with the ketchup dress
Walked out of the girls bathroom
She said, “I must confess
I really like your haircut”
All I could mutter was “uht”

She smiled and skipped away
I think her name is May
She was kind of cute
And my heart gave a little toot

When I got home my head was spinning
I told my Mom about the test and the girl
She was happy and gave me more good news
We would go to the beach at my Aunt Sue’s
I dropped my bag and started to twirl
All I had to do was finish my room cleaning

Because of all the hard work I had done
We could spend the weekend there
I could bring a friend too to have fun
I gave her a big hug like a bear

It turns out hard work does pay
It just may not seem like it at the time
All day on the beach I would lay
And all the jetties I would climb

But I couldn’t help but think
About the cute girl named May
Ketchup stain or not
I wondered what I would say
So nervous my stomach would sink

It’s amazing how an annoying haircut
And a girl would make me such a nut
I guess haircuts aren’t so bad
And getting good grades makes me glad

Something I never thought I would say
I can’t wait for Monday
Just so I could see May

Writing Words

Just about everyone who has written words in English has written what I have written. The only difference between me and everyone else is the order of the words.

August Photo - Fire Dancer

Fire Dancer

August Photo - Drive By Sunset

Drive By Sunset

August Photo - Ellie's Cousin

Ellie's cousin

Crossing the Country – July 25th

I caught the 9 o’clock ferry from Bremerton, just a stone throw from Seattle, with my truck this time. I took Route 90 all the way to Montana. In Idaho there was a backup, traffic was stopped. A van carrying a trailer went up and over the divider. The trailer flipped on its side. There was only about eight feet of room to get by so tractor-trailer trucks could not get through. Driving trough the mountains my truck overheated. I pulled over for about ten minutes and it cooled down so I was on my way. I didn’t get to Glacier National Park until after 9 o’clock. I was heading for a primitive campsite when I went the wrong way. The dirt road to the campsite was closed before I could reach the camp. I slept in my truck. Now, I six miles up this dirt road that ended so I was about as far away as I could be in a jeep from the park center. I decided to stop listening to stupid noises and sleep. There would be nobody that would bother me here.

When I woke up the next morning, I sat up and nearly shit myself to see a car parked right in front of me. So much for isolation.

Day 15 – New Zealand

Wanaka wasn’t exactly our favorite place. Not that it was bad but maybe it just didn’t meet our expectations. When we first approached, it had that small town nestled by a lake feel. It looked promising.

It was just about noon when we got there so we decided to get lunch. We took a quick spin around to check things out and weren’t impressed with the menu selections. Some places we even closed. We went back to the first café we came about. Nothing on the menu struck our fancy but I ended up getting a chicken, mushroom, cranberry and brie panini, to drink a chamomile tea. The panini was good but wasn’t that filling and the tea was quite tiny as well. I’m used to a nice big personal pot of tea. So much that I could barely finish it.

Holly ended up getting just fries with sour cream. The ginger tea that she got wasn’t that tasty either. Ginger really isn’t my thing so I don’t have much to say about that.

We did leave the café on a good note. Holly got her hokey pokey ice cream and to fill my unsatisfied appetite I got a roasted vegetable muffin which was quite delicious with a spot of cream cheese on top.

At one point in the day we stepped into a music shop and I was impressed with the music selection, however, the owner or clerk was too busy trying to satisfy a woman’s musical needs. I chimed in at one point inquiring about a band and he responded a bit dismissive so Holly and I left.

We did hike up to Mt. Iron which was a pretty step trail. From the top there was a 360 degree view of the town, lakes, and farms. We definitely worked off the cold temperatures. We were taking off our jackets by the top.

After our hike we hit up a supermarket, went for a quick drive to Mt. Aspiring view point, and scoped out Cardrona ski area. I plan to ski there tomorrow. Then we found a spot on the side of the road to spend the night.

Wedding Vows

I, Holly, choose you Troy as my best friend, my love for life. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you and comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to cherish you and to demonstrate love and compassion in our married life.

By: H. Roy

Holly, who would have thought ten years ago we’d be standing here today. Sometimes you find what you’re looking for right in front of your eyes. You are my best friend. Together we will enjoy life and grow old. I promise to always love you with all my heart.

By: T. Roy

If We Could Only

If I could only
If I could just

Make it to the summer
Get a new job

If I could only
If I could just

Sleep a little more
Have some more free time

If only I didn’t have to
Mow the lawn
Do the laundry
Make the bed

I wish I could
Get away for awhile
Stop and smell the roses
Go for a walk

If only I would stop wishing
I would be content
It’s all in my head
The glass is full

July Photo - Clouds

Clouds

July Photo - Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home

July Photo - Ellie

Ellie

Identity Crisis

A little boy
Named Eliot
Hard shell
Various shades
Of green
Has parasites

Once a boy
Now a girl
Named Ellie
Quiet peaceful
No more anger
Identity crisis
Solved

My Father

He stands 6 feet 2 inches tall, just slightly taller than I am. Even at the age of 60, gray hair is just beginning to encroach on his dirty blonde hair and a receding hairline is only slightly noticeable. He has this blond spot on the back of his head where he was hit in the head with a bottle as a teenager. As a kid I tried endlessly to mess up his hair but my efforts were useless. His hair was and still is in a permanent part to the side with a distinct wave on one side.

His muscle mass has decreased over the years and has been replaced with a slight protruding abdomen, nothing compared to his overweight brothers. Compared to them he is still the lean, muscular stick figure he was 30 years ago.

My father has always had distinct jowls but now that he is older his cheek pads have begun to sink. His eyes are blue and his skin is tight. Only minor wrinkles line his face. He never wore glasses until his 50’s. He now wears round aviator glasses that have left red nose pad imprints on the bridge of his nose.

Once, at a water park when I was just a young boy, I couldn’t find my dad. I wasn’t wearing my glasses and I was seeing nothing but blurred bodies. I walked up to a man and said, “I can’t find my dad.” The man looked around and then pointed, “I think that’s your dad.” Sure enough it was. I guess you could say that I am my father’s son.

If my father were to be a movie star he would have been James Dean. The hair and the build of James Dean match up to the image I have of my father when he was in his 30’s. There was a girl in high school that told me, “Boy, if you look as good as your father does when your 40…” Just imagine James Dean at the age of 60 and you’ve got my dad.

Color

How do you explain color to a blind person? I have been told that the blind can see color or at least can identify differences between varying color textures. But blind people can’t see exactly what people with vision can see. Even if they were to identify a color that doesn’t mean they can see the color how we see it. Let’s consider a person who is color blind. I can think of a time in elementary school in art class when a fellow classmate was making a sculpture of a baseball player. He began to paint the baseball bat black. We began to ask, “Why are you painting the bat black?”

“I’m not painting it black. This is brown,” the classmate responded. We told him that it wasn’t but he didn’t believe us. To him the color black was our brown. All color is, is what society defines it as. What if you and I both look at a color, I identify the color as red and you identify the color as red? Simple, we both see the same color and agree that the color is red. But now what if I saw blue but knew it as the color red? What if somehow my brain reversed colors? The only reason why we know color is because someone taught the colors to us. Parents point to something and say blue, red, yellow, black, and slowly we learn colors. Who’s to say we see the same thing. What we see is only interpreted by our brain. What if I see blue but know it as red? How would we ever know if what we saw was the same? I don’t think that color should come down to a cut and dry answer. When I consider my classmate from elementary school, I think that color can be considered subjective. Color can be based upon your perception. How many times have people debated, “What color is that?” “Is that black or blue?” Is that green or blue?” “Black or purple?” How do we explain color to a blind person when blind people see something different than our eyes can see? I’d love for a blind person to try and explain what they see. It’s like people communicating in two different languages.

Trolly

Who would have thought
Ten years ago
In study hall
He copied her Latin homework
They stood within ten feet
As photos were snapped
Of each other with someone else
He took her best friend to the prom

The college years flew by
But they stayed in touch
Reconnected by default
In a hometown
Where no one else lived
Halloween was their first kiss

And even though they drifted
Fate would have its way
Another first kiss on New Years
Soon a ring appeared
And of course she said yes

Suddenly a house emerged
Hammer and nail, sand and paint
The entire time, he wanted to faint
Trees falling over, sinkholes and smashed glass
More beads of sweat
He wiped from his brow

One thing was for sure
The house was made with love
From family and friends
Who helped along the way

They day quickly approaches
They would tie the knot and say I do
Who would have thought
Ten years ago
That these two
Would be husband and wife
Sometimes you find
What you’re looking for
Right in front of your eyes

June Photo - Fire Flies

Fire Flies

June Photo - Infinity Cut Short

Infinity Cut Short

June Photo - Snicker Galaxy

Snicker Galaxy

Weeds

Tend to the weeds in your own garden first before you point out weeds in others gardens.

Uncle Mike

You can always find your way home. Sometimes the journey home takes longer than others. Mike made his way home about four months ago. I barely knew him four months ago but every notion that I had about him previously, vanished. Suddenly, I saw the true Mike Reeves. Loving, caring, gently, sweet. All words that I would use to describe him now. He displayed nothing but his pure strong heart inside of a body that was slowing falling apart.

His pure strong heart was what repaired relationships and made him a part of our family again. He came back at just the right time. He was with his family when his brother took his last motorcycle ride up to heaven. He was with his family when his mother’s body won the battle over her will to live. He came back home just in time. And we were there for him just at the time when he needed us most.

The last piece of home was Melissa. In the last hours of his life he was reunited across phone lines with his daughter. His timing was perfect. He made it back home just in time to touch our hearts.

Marriage

Most people think that marriage is a compilation of compromises but in actuality it’s just a compilation of yes dear’s.

Light Bulb Switched Neighbors

There is this light switch down in the basement. The switch is located underneath the stairs in this tucked away area that I never really go to unless there is water in the basement and I need to vacuum it. The switch is located on the wall at the front of the house. If you follow the electrical conduit the light switch is connected to a light bulb with a pull string. If you flip the switch, nothing happens. However, if I pull the pull string the light bulb turns on. I flip the switch again, nothing happens. I pull the string again, the light goes off. I try the switch one more time in wonderment, nothing. I stare in amazement at this light switch. What could it possibly be used for?


There is this pull string light bulb in the basement. The light bulb is located in the center of the unfinished section of the basement. If you follow the electrical conduit the light bulb is connected to an electrical box on the wall at the front of the house. The electrical conduit stops there and appears to go outside the house. I have pulled the pull string many times and nothing has happened. Randomly, I have walked into the basement to find the light on. When I attempt to shut the light off by pulling the string nothing happens. Weeks later I will find the light off. Once I was in the basement doing laundry and the light flickered on and off and now continuously stays on. It has been on for months now. I have flipped every circuit breaker in the house to try and shut it off but the light is still continuously on. How do I shut this damn light off?

Russian Tortoise

I have a pet named Eliot that most people believe is a turtle. He is actually a Russian Tortoise but he’s not rushin’ anywhere!

May Photo - Pantheon

Pantheon

May Photo - Colored Cubes

Colored Cubes

May Photo - Eliot

Eliot

Uncle Bill

Bill was my uncle. And he was the uncle that lived the furthest away. For some reason he always had this mysteriousness about him. I was for some reason drawn to him. I didn’t realize what it was until today. You see for some reason I can remember almost every conversation that we had ever had. He would call up from Florida and I would be so excited to talk to him. We talked about music and he sent me Ted Nugent CD’s. We talked about cars and he always said he was going to send me a mustang but I knew that mustangs didn’t travel through the mail. We talked about motorcycles and I remember when I told him that I got my motorcycle license, he wanted to send me on of those too but all of his motorcycles were way to big for a beginner.

One summer, I was in Fort Lauderdale with some friends. Picture this. Beaches full of girls in bikinis and all I wanted to do was have lunch with my uncle. We finally met up on the last day I was in Florida. I ditched my friends for him.

Bill didn’t visit Connecticut that often but when he did it was always a special occasion to me. He came up to visit about two years ago when my grandmother was sick in the hospital. We went down to the hospital café to get some food; we sat there, ate, and talked just the two of us. For some reason I felt very close to my Uncle Bill. Today I realized that he truly, genuinely cared about not just me, but also my interests and what mattered to me. Of course I will miss him but I know exactly where he is right now. He is riding his motorcycle as fast as he wants to on a cloud high above. The wind feeds crisp clean air into his lungs. I’m sure he stopped just for a few minutes to look down on us here today with a smile that fills the sky.

Go ahead Bill, Go ahead and ride. It is what you went to heaven to do.

Where Were You Last Night

“Where were you last night?” asked Billy.
I hesitated but replied, “Oh, I stayed home.”
“I tried to call your house last night,” he said.
“Well, I was kinda tired.”
“That’s not what your Mom said.”
I immediately cut him off, “Look! What are you getting at?” I said.
He just mumbled, “Never mind.”

We continued to walk down Broad Street. I mean I couldn’t tell him where I was. He wouldn’t understand. I did feel bad though. I sort of left him hanging last night at the movies. We were supposed to double date with our very cute girlfriends. I think he was just disappointed that I didn’t show up again. This was the fifth time this month that I ditched him. I knew he was sick of it but in a way he was getting used to it. I really did feel bad. I’m normally not like this. He just wouldn’t understand. Usually best friends can tell each other anything but this was different. I am absolutely positively sure he would not understand.

We reached the ice cream shop and when he opened the door I said, “I’m really sorry about all this.” Billy had no response.

We walked into the ice cream shop. Jessica and Amber were sitting in the far corner. These are the girls. Yes, the girls Billy and I had been after for the longest time. As soon as we laid eyes on these two sisters, we fell in love. They were twins but not identical. I really liked Jessica and Billy loved Amber so it all worked out. Best friends always compromise. We finally got dates with them two weeks ago. Amazingly enough we ended up becoming couples. We sat down with them. Billy leaned over and kissed Amber on the cheek. As soon as I sat down Jessica gave me the look. We all know what the look is. I knew she was mad. She asked, “Where were you last night?”

I said I was really sorry and leaned in to kiss her. It wasn’t good enough. She pulled away and I knew I was in trouble. I was sure that Billy was not going to help me out this time. I was in a bad jam now. All I needed was time to think of an excuse. Jessica pulled me close, looked deep into my eyes and said, “You know that I like you. Why aren’t you being honest with me? I’m honest with you.”

Oh no, I thought. There they were those puppy dog eyes. How can I lie to those clear blue eyes? So right then and there I decided to tell them. Those clear blue eyes can do wonders.

“Okay,” I said, “Here it goes. I’ll tell you where I was last night.” I hesitated for a moment then I spoke. “Last night I was…I was…I was at the Westbrook Retirement Home painting my Grandmother’s toe nails Tickle Me Pink and singing the I Love You Barney song. Are you happy now?”

Both Sides of the Coin

I must decide
One or the other
Two sides of a coin
Both equal
What to choose
Here or there
A fork in the road
Left or right
Am I ready to choose
Where will it lead
Will I only have one chance
Will I decide in time
Or will it decide for me
I must decide
Heads or tails

Two Piece Puzzle (Dann)

Imagine this, a two piece puzzle amidst a thousand pieces. You search and search through these thousand pieces to find the two that match. Just as soon as you think the pieces line up there is something that just isn’t right. You try to force the pieces together because you think they should fit. Soon you bring yourself to the realization that the pieces really don’t fit and your search continues. You begin to feel hopeless. This two piece puzzle amidst a thousand pieces will never be found. You give up hope and think that it will never be possible. You push the puzzle pieces aside in frustration never to be finished.

Then one day soon something catches your eye and you glance at the thousand pieces. You fiddle with the pieces for a minute or two with no rhyme or reason and like magic you find a match. Suddenly, you realize that there just isn’t one two piece puzzle, there are many. Almost five hundred two piece puzzles suddenly emerge. In this box of a thousand pieces it turns out not every piece fits with another piece but in the end most find a match.

April Photo - Turning Me Upwards

Turning Me Upwards

April Photo - Sprial

Spiral

April Photo - Celtic Grass

Celtic Grass

The Bully

She stood eight feet tall, or at least that’s how tall she looked. She was a giant! Massive. Even immortals trembled with irrational fear when she walked by. She was huge, larger than life. We were in the sixth grade together at Stafford School. She and a few others had just transferred from Bingham School. I was amazed at how big she was. She was the biggest girl I had ever seen.

I had always thought of myself as a tall kid. I was one of the tallest kids in my class. I didn’t realize what I looked like to the shorter kids but this girl towered over me. I can’t imagine what she looked like to shorter and punier kids. She would stand up to anyone, even the biggest, most powerful boys in the sixth grade. I have to admit, I was not one of those boys. In fact, I was considered one of the biggest dorks. This made everyone want to pick on me even more. I didn’t mind that much until she came along.

It was the first day of school and she sat right in front of me. Every time the teacher passed something out she would turn around and whack me on the head. It really hurt. I couldn’t believe how strong she was. Now I had been hit before, even by some big kids, but this, this was incredible strength. I was truly terrified. Every day from then on she tormented me and even took my lunch money. She had this way of hurting me. Even though it hurt, she never left a mark so I couldn’t tell on her. Not that I could tell on her anyway. She would have killed me. I avoided her but somehow she always found me. She said, “Don’t try getting away cuz I’ll catch you. I am all that and then some with a box of cracker jacks.”

This went on for a long time. By the end of the school day I would be starving. I would come home from school and stuff my face with food. My parents started asking questions. “Are you eating at school?” they would say. Of course, I said, “Yes.”

After a few months she had the whole sixth grade in the palm of her hand. No one dared to stand up to her. The teachers were even afraid of her. When my teacher asked her where her homework was one day, she replied, “None a your bizness.”

The teacher immediately backed off.

Then she said, “I thought so!” I couldn’t believe what control she had over everyone. Then I thought, Oh my God! What are her parents like? My mind became filled with thoughts of Hitler and the Nazis in Germany. She is going to take over the world and destroy everything. I can picture it now somehow she become principal of a school. She marches each class down into the dark, disgusting basement where the children are subjected to mutilation. If that doesn’t happen, she would probably end up in a state penitentiary. Even there she would dominate. What if she actually slips through life and her tyranny isn’t stopped. What if she has a child? Gasp! I told myself she has to be stopped.

Then one day everything changed. The day started off normal; she tormented kids and took their lunch money. Then came my turn. I sat at my desk. Class was just about to begin. She made her way toward me. She punched me in the shoulder and said, “Where’s your lunch money, Dork!”

I said, “You’re not getting it today.”

“What?” she shouted.

The class went quiet. I stood up and raised my voice. “I said you’re not getting my money today!” I clenched my fist, took one punch, and then hit the ground crying because my hand hurt so much. She took my lunch money, again.

One Spring Morning

Awakened by the light
Reach up to the blinds
Slowly turn the rod
The sun is rising
It blinds, but only for a moment
The light has entered the room
The long winter is over
All of the snow has melted
A breath is taken in
The weight has been lifted
Refreshing and invigorating
Entering the forest of trees
The green has overwhelmed
Animals scurry along
Up and down, they play
Running amongst each other
The ponds and streams have turned
From cold fidget ice
To warm flowing water
A deer wanders to the pond
She bends down and takes a sip
The ground is now warm
A green leaf slowly rises
From the earth it pokes through
A long stalk appears
Out bursts a blossoming tulip
Others follow along the same path
The meadows are no longer bear
The brown flat earth now holds
Luscious golden wheat
The sky is now blue
No longer gray
White fluffy clouds high above
Dancing robins and sparrows
Color and life is reborn
All from my window

Backpacking Europe - Brugge, Belgium

I was awoken many times by this loud obnoxious snorer. I just couldn’t stand it. While awake I felt something on my back pocket. It felt like a mouse so I swatted it with my hand. I felt nothing and looked up. To my surprise, I saw a man, my roommate, running back to his bed. I assumed he was trying to pick my pocket; either that or he was touching my ass for other unthinkable reasons. I literally slept with one eye open all night which was easy because of the other guy that was producing an incredibly loud horrifying snore. It had to be the worst sound I had ever heard. At 6:30 A.M. I said to myself that is enough and I grabbed my backpack and left the room.

I waited for breakfast in the well lit lobby of the hostel. Once the receptionist appeared around seven o’clock I told her the story of the pick pocketing roommate. She assured me that the man would not be allowed to stay there again and would ask the other men in the room if anything was stolen. I ate breakfast in a large room full of tables and chairs by myself and to my surprise, the man who had tried to rob me sat down next to me with his own breakfast. As soon as he sat down I got up, went to the receptionist, whispered that’s him and after a nod of acknowledgement from the receptionist I walked as fast as I could to the nearest train station and got on the first train to Amsterdam.

Phrases

“Don’t fall!”
I wasn’t planning on purposely falling.
“Be careful!”
Oh, thank you. I was going to be careless if you hadn’t said anything.
“Shampoo with ginseng and Echinacea”
The words sound nice but does it do anything for my hair?

March Photo - Friends

Friends

March Photo - Arbor

Arbor

March Photo - Morphed

Morphed

People and Animals

Have you ever noticed the similarities between humans and animals? Let’s consider comparing an elephant to a person. Elephants have four limbs just like we do. Sure they may use there appendages differently but still the number is four. Elephants have a mouth, a nose, and eyes just like we do. Yes, I realize their noses are much larger than ours. Elephants eat food and drink water just like we do. And guess what… they poop just like us as well. Of the course the quantity that is produced by elephants is slightly more than humans. Now think about every animal that fits into this criteria: dogs, cats, tigers, cows, sheep, pigs, wolves, deer, turtles, etc. And yes I realize that you will be able to come up with animals that won’t fit into this category, say lobster and spiders which have more than four appendages or fish which have a single tail instead of two legs but essentially the animals are primarily very similar. Earth is basically a closed loop; the environment is conducive to this kind of life.

Scientists have spent a very long time separating all of Earths organisms into groups. But you can see how ironically similar all the species are. Now if you can grasp the concept of all the animals being more similar than different, then is it possible to have other beings on foreign planets that are unlike anything imaginable? What if on other planets of hot methane gas and boiling magma, where we think it could never be possible for life, there is life but unlike anything we know. Let’s call it Efil. I mean if it doesn’t fit into the group of Earth life then I guess we should call it something different, right?

Excuses

When we don’t do something well, we make excuses for not doing it well. I can recall a quote from a girl I played pool with in Alaska. “When I was little, we played pool all the time. I haven’t played in years.” For some reason society forces us to come with excuses for not being good at something. For some reason we need to be good at everything we do. We make excuses for ourselves and make fun of ourselves so that others don’t. It doesn’t matter if you beat me because I’m horrible at pool. However, if you are winning, “Watch out now, I’ve been practicing,” and you feel like you are on top of the world. We either put ourselves down or bring ourselves up socially depending on how we do at the activity. Why do we need to give excuses for ourselves? Why can’t we just play and enjoy it whether we win or lose. Besides if you believe you are bad at something than you will be and the same goes for the opposite. Believe you are good and you will be.

Grad Speech 1999

…And excuse me, can I have the attention of the class, for just one second?

I must say it is a pleasure and an honor to speak to you all this evening. It has been a dream of mine for four years to speak on this night. Now, I know we have all heard advice from parents, teachers, and other adults for our future. But I’m going to take this opportunity to let you hear a little advice from a fellow classmate. I suggest you listen carefully. You might be able to use some piece of what I’m about to say. So without further ado.

Live everyday like it is your last. So many times we find that life is very short. At the end of everyday, ask yourself if you have any regrets. And be able to tell yourself, no. Experience life to the fullest but use precaution. Do what you think you can not do. Be unpredictable. Be spontaneous. Do something new that sparks your interest -everyday. Do not let opportunities pass you by. And always remember you are only young once.

Do not worry about things you cannot control. Things will happen whether you like it or not. Furthermore, the past is the past so there is no use worrying about it. Although we can definitely and should, learn from it. Do not over analyze your thoughts otherwise, you will find yourself not sleeping at night. If things are not going well for you now, do not worry. Happiness is just around the corner. If things are going well for you, Congratulations.

Love yourself, but do not love yourself too much otherwise, you will find the mirror being your best friend. The people that matter will like you for who you are no matter what you look like. In other words, if you’re a banana, be a banana, if you’re an orange, be an orange. Do not try and change yourself and your appearance just to please others. You are all uni-que. I mean you are all unique in your own way. Never forget that. Now, something very important, playing video games and watching television will not help you mentally or physically, although running a mile and reading a book will. Never stop educating yourself. Most importantly never stop educating others.

There are no boundaries. Venture into the outskirts of imagination. Be whatever you want to be and do not settle for anything less. A high paying job does not necessarily equal happiness. You are better off being happy with a job you love. Before you get married, if you get married at all, live your own life first. If you are already married, be sure to keep each other young by enjoying one another. Work hard everyday of your life. Work towards every goal in your mind. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. In order to be successful in life it takes hard work.

Take care of your body. It is the most valuable thing you own as an individual and the only one you have got. Otherwise at our 25th class reunion we’ll end up over weight and unhappy. Exercise and I guarantee you will be healthier. Try to stay healthy for the rest of your life.

Love and freedom are priceless and also free for the taking. The heart is a delicate thing so do not be reckless with it. Always remember to communicate with loved ones because you cannot always tell what someone else is thinking.

Never let anyone put words into your mouth. Speak your mind. What we need in this world are more outgoing talkative people. A lot of people need to realize that. Say what you want as long as it is in your own words and you do not offend anyone. It is sad that sometimes we have to fit into a mold someone has already made for someone else. Break that mold. Do not just say what people want to hear. Stand up for what you believe in.

All of you must remember that over time people change and so will you. Five years from now, almost nothing will be the same as it is now. People grow apart and people come together. We will lose some friends but make new ones. Life is in constant rotation.

Do not be afraid to live in different places. Sometimes it seems as though all roads lead back to Bristol. I suggest taking a different road to seek out new lands to enjoy. Seek out new cultures and new ways of life. Sure it might be scary at first but challenge yourself. Explore the world. Then decide where you want to live.

Travel but do not travel just to escape your problems, you will just carry them with you or they will be waiting for you when you return.

Invest in an IRA or mutual fund now. Watch it grow. Finance wisely. You must be careful if you live a life of materialism because a fool and his money are soon parted. All of the money in the world does not amount to anything without family and friends. Donate to charity because you never know when you will need charity yourself. Credit cards, now I know we all have one or more, do not solve financial problems they usually cause them. Use them wisely.

Now to conclude my speech, I would like to give a few last suggestions and reminders. Eat chicken soup when you are sick. Respect the Earth, it is the only one we have. Take many pictures. Do not drive fast. Invent something. Tell your mother you love her. Tell your father you love him. Read to your children. It is the best thing you can do to parent your children. If you cannot have children, adopt. Do not forget to call home. And always remember to zip your fly.

Airplanes

On my trip to Alaska, I was waiting in the terminal for the flight to board. I was there hours before the flight was going to take off. With all the security measures, I guess it’s important to get there early. As the plane was about to board, I noticed many of the passengers standing, waiting, and very eager to get on the plane. I noticed people getting more and more nervous waiting for their row to be called. I began to wonder why people were so eager to get onto a plane. Personally, I didn’t care if I was first or last on the plane. What did it matter? I wasn’t going to get to Alaska any faster. Why did those people need to be the first on the plane? Just imagine. You’re standing, waiting, eager to get on the plane. You made it. You are the first person on the plane. You quickly find your seat, stow your belongings and buckle your seat belt. Now, you still have to wait for every single passenger to get on the plane before you can leave. What was the point of rushing and raising your blood pressure?

Well, I began to think about why they actually feel this way. I tried to put myself actually into their shoes. I can imagine that when they got on the plane and found their seat that they felt secure. Why? Well, most people are a little nervous about flying. Whether it be the plane crashing, a canceled flight, gate change, lay over, lost ticket, security check, claustrophobia, baby crying or whatever. Everyone is probably a little nervous whether they realize it or not, probably because flying is out of our control. When you travel somewhere by car you are generally in control of your vehicle, however, you aren’t in control of the drivers around you. The feeling of being in control of at least our own vehicle gives us satisfaction. The fact that people have no control over the other drivers actually makes it way more dangerous than flying. When flying, someone else is in control and I think that makes people nervous. I think we live in a society that teaches us to be in control, or at least attempt to be in control at all times. The passengers trying to get on the plane as fast as they can are attempting to be in control of the situation.

People are also nervous because they want to get where they are going. Of course getting on the plane doesn’t get them there any faster; however, their job is done. They have done all that they could do to get there. “I’m on the plane. There is nothing else I can do to get there any faster.” I think this comes from society’s rush, rush, rush mentality. People need to learn to enjoy the journey as well as the destination. If we can enjoy the time it takes to get somewhere and enjoy the place we traveling to then we can double our enjoyment. Many times we are just moving to the next destination to try and find happiness but we never get there. We end up in constant motion searching for the next place when in essence we can be happy in the here and now throughout our journey of life.

February Photo - Outside The Box

Outside The Box

February Photo - Get Lost

Get Lost

February Photo - Dachau

Dachau

Bree

On many occasions over the past few years we all told her, “It’s okay. You can go now.” Two days later she would be looking at us with a smile on her face asking for a jelly donut. Her will was much stronger than her body and that is because of family and friends.

My Mom told my grandmother, “Call me when you get there.” I think my Mom was a little relieved when she didn’t get this call. I mean can you imagine the cost of a collect call from heaven. Bree did send a message. The message was not through the phone or sent in a letter. The message was sent in words…and I speak these words to you now.

You need not worry
For I am safe now
Where I am
There is no pain
There is only peace and love
Go now and enjoy your life
I will see you
When your time has come

Bree gave us many gifts. She gave us three years devoted to bringing our family closer again. She has taught us how important family is and how everything else in this world just doesn’t mean as much to us anymore. Most importantly she has left us with…Grace. I have learned so much from her and I will never be the same. Thank you, Bree. Thank you for everything you have taught me. I love you so very much.

Mystery Meat

They are all made of meat. Some are short and fat and some are long and skinny. Occasionally, you can find the most popular kind which is long and fat but they are quite rare. When heated they expand. Some people like them a light pinkish tan color while others like them black. Anyway you choose, hotdogs are all made of the same stuff.

A Million Thoughts

A million thoughts role through my head so many thoughts that I can’t even pinpoint one thought. Just as soon as I think one thought my mind races toward another. I feel various emotions run through my body. I feel the urge to cry but what for. But why should I need a reason. There’s more, there is more, there is more to this world and we all know it. I feel like I’m spinning in circles. I feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions. I must find the light. I must find the peace within me. Oh God, what do I do? Show me the path and I will follow. But…I realize there is no path. I must blaze the path but in what direction? Direction means nothing where I want to go. Such inconceivable thoughts, where is the guidance? Acceptance, acceptance of what is real and what is not. My body is merely carrying my soul. How can I use my body to develop my soul? That is the important question. Simplify, the word rings through my brain a thousand times, simplify. I want to experience what most people fail to experience in a life time. I want to live a hundred men’s lives in a day. I feel held back, bogged down by the demands of society. I must separate society from what is true. Follow the path inside myself. Shut society out, shut out society but that is not an option. I need to learn to follow the true path while living immersed in a society. I want to explore the depths of imagination. Use my mind for the impossible, to its fullest extent. Open my soul let it pour out. Let my soul carry my body instead or my body carrying it.

I say to myself, let your soul carry your body.

There is a Better Life

There is a better life
xxxxxIn which you seek
Although it will take work
xxxxxHow to travel
You are unsure

If you never look
xxxxxYou will be forever lost
There are unexpected forks
xxxxxYou will find
Some may extend your trip
xxxxxSome might bring you closer

There is a destination
xxxxxThat you seek
Not one exists